Drug of Love
by frogchik090
Summary: Tori has a secret she is hiding from all of her friends, but they are starting to notice her strange behavior. Tori should be happy Jade is trying to be her friend and she even has a cute new boyfriend. What could be wrong and can anyone save her before its too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.  
**

**This story is rated M for language and for future chapters. **

I woke up in a haze, i heard beeping coming from a machine that was directly to my right. I had wires connecting to the machine and an iv in my arm. I realized quickly that i was in the hospital. Then everything started rushing back to me.

2 weeks prior

I leaned over the toilet heaving, all the contents from my stomach came rushing out. When i was finally done i stood up flushed the toilet and exited the stall. I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. 'You are such a mess,' i thought to myself. My eyes teared as I retched into the toilet so my makeup ran a little under my eyes. My hair was in a extra sloppy bun today. Hang overs are the worst. I got a paper towel and wiped the make up from beneath my eye and quickly applied more. After i finished with my make-up i popped a piece of gum in my mouth. My stomach was still quite queasy even after I threw up all of my breakfast. I quickly exited the bathroom and went to my locker before anyone came in.

I know Trina and my friends were starting to notice the change in my behavior. I had started partying a few months. I was slowly going in a downward spiral with my drinking and even started experimenting with a few drugs. It all started when I met this guy from Northridge, Casey. He was an attractive guy, had short brown hair, stunning blue eyes, I have a thing for blue eyes, and an amazing smile I swear could light up the room. I met him when I was at the mall one day. I had just gotten my license and wanted to go drive myself somewhere for once. Casey was in one of the stores with me when we met. I was looking at a shirt and he came up to me telling me how beautiful that would look on me. He then apologized for being so forward but wanted to know if I would like to have lunch with him. He was so sweet and I was trying to distract myself from who I really had feelings for since they would never be reciprocated. So I said yes. He was a very sweet guy, was for the first few weeks.

"Vega! Hey I just wanted to... Holy shit! what's wrong with you?" Jade came up and actually looked concerned. We have kind of trying the friend thing out, except I always wish it were more.

"Oh hey Jade. Errr nothing's wrong just didn't sleep well last night and I kind of feel sick today." I reply turning to my locker as a wave of extreme nausea washes through me.

"You haven't been sleeping well for a while now. Anything you wanna talk about Vega, I mean we are friends now aren't we?" Jade says with her signature smirk. I could tell it wasn't because she truly cared if I was upset. I think she just was really trying to give this friend thing and felt she needed to ask.

"No Jade, there is nothing to talk about, like I said I just don't feel very good today." I lie through my teeth. ' Yes Jade something is wrong I am dating a guy who reminds me of you because I can't actually have you.' I think to myself. I don't know how I am going to get through this day anymore.

"Whatever Vega." Jade says with an eye roll walking over to Beck before I even find out what she wanted in the first place. The eye roll and dismiss confuses me. Did she actually care if something was wrong?

The day drags on horribly slow and I don't start feeling any better. My head starts pounding which only fuels the nausea. When it comes lunch time I decide to make an attempt to eat. It's not the puking or the hangover that is dislike it's the nausea that I can not stand. I get a salad hoping and a turkey sandwich hoping that won't anger my stomach.

"Hey Torrrrreeeee." Andre says with a smile as I get to the table.

"Hey guys." I say to everyone. Both Cat and Robbie say hi and quickly start talking to each other again. Beck smiles and turns back to talking to Jade who just ignored me altogether. I don't get her at all anymore. I just sit at the table next to Cat and Andre across from Beck and Jade. They seem to be having a shushed private conversation. I don't want to sound like a jerk but I really wish they would break up and be friends. I also wish that then Jade would ask me to be her girlfriend.

"How is Casey doing Tor?" Andre asks breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Oh he is good. " I simply say as I take a bite of my sandwich. Andre simply nods and eats his burrito I am hoping he is catching on I really don't want to talk and that this turkey sandwich is doing nothing for my nausea.

"So Tori, do you have plans with Casey tomorrow night ?" Beck asks turning from Jade to look at me with a smile.

"Um yah we are going to hang out but we didn't really make any plans aside from sitting at his house watching tv. Why?" I ask.

"Well there is that new comedy coming out 'Living with the Klutzes', I was thinking we could double and go and see it." Beck says with a hopeful smile. I look at Jade and she is looking away from the table looking a little annoyed, I am not sure if it's because Beck wants us to double or if it's because the movie choice. She likes horror movies, not comedies.

"Yah sure that sounds fun." There goes another lie. The thought of going on a double with Beck and Jade turns my stomach. It's going to be torture watching Jade and Beck be all cuddly and kissy in the theatre and I know I'll be with Casey so I shouldn't be upset but I can't help it. In a way I guess I am kind of using Casey. When we first started dating I really thought I liked him and that he could help me get over Jade. As time went on I realized I didn't like him as much as I thought and he started getting less sweet and turning into a jerk. It's fucked up because I know Jade doesn't want me and never will so I stay with Casey hoping I will just fall for him. I like that I feel wanted with him. Even after he insults me he always apologizes and tells me he is sorry. I feel too bad to just leave him. I guess what he says isn't that bad. Maybe I just like someone who likes to insult me and put me down, I mean I do like Jade. I just kept seeing Casey and partying him getting drunk and having sex with him. The sex was good that could be another reason I stay with him. It does partially take my mind away from Jade especially when I started trying drugs.

As I continue to think about the date and Beck and Jade cuddling I feel the turkey sandwich I just finished start coming back up. I quickly throw my trash out and make a mad dash to the bathroom without an explanation to my friend's shocked faces. I make it into the stall and almost miss the toilet while I am violently sick into the bowl. That turkey sandwich tastes so nasty as it comes back up. I throw up a few more times and then when I am finally finished I flush the toilet and sit back on the floor.

One tear streams down my cheek and then its like a dam broke in my eye and my eyes just start leaking streams of tears. I wish I weren't in this fucked up situation. I wish the person I think I really love was the person I was dating. It's so wrong she is actually happy with Beck, and he is happy with her, and I'm over here selfish wishing she would dump him and tell me she wants me. I hate my life. I really do.

As I am sobbing on the floor thinking about my fucked up situation I don't even hear the bathroom door open or that someone who opened the door calling out my name. I don't even realize I am not alone anymore until they open the stall door I stupidly forgot to lock in my haste to puke my brains out. I try calm down before I look up at the person.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next chapter, thanks for everyone's reviews! i really appreciate them! let me know what you think of the story so well.

Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.

I look up at the open stall door and am completely shocked to see Jade. It's only when I see her actually have a look of worry take over her face and her mouth start moving that I snap out of my shocked state.

"Wh-what are you doing in here?" I stutter out and quickly stand up. As I stand up all the blood rushes to my head and I start to fall over to my side only to have Jade catch me before I fall.

"Jesus Tori! Are you alright?" Jade says into my ear as she wraps her arms around my waist to keep me from falling. It's weird to hear actual worry in her voice.

"Yeah, I am fine." I say a little harsher than I should as I try to get out of her hold on my waist. Jade's hold on me is too tight and I can't break free.

"Vega, I just found you sitting on the bathroom floor crying your eyes out. Obviously something is wrong." Jade says I can hear the annoyance starting to leak in her voice.

I try to understand why she is in here asking me if I am alright and getting mad as I lie. I know I said we were trying the friends thing, well I mean she is sort of attempting to be my friend she has always been my friend. I just think its because she got back with Beck and he doesn't like how cruel she is to me. She really wants to make it work with him so she attempts to be my friend to appease him. There's also the fact that I wouldn't kiss him before the Platinum awards because of her being my friend, I think she has a slight bit of guilt that makes her try to be my friend. So that doesn't explain why she is in here right now with her arms wrapped around my waist.

"I told you earlier I wasn't feeling well." I say finally breaking out of her hold.

"So feeling sick and puking causes you to sob on the bathroom floor ?" She says grabbing my wrist. She has a look of pure annoyance on her face.

"Yup, I guess so." I turn away and pull my wrist from her grasp and go to the sink to wash my hands. I hear her let out a huff in frustration before walkin and standing next to me at the sink.

"Why won't you tell me what is wrong?" She says a little calmer but still I can tell she is extremely annoyed.

"Why are you in here? You never answered me." I say looking down at the sink and turning off the water. I turn from her to get a towel and refuse to look in her eyes.

"Well I came in here to go pee because that's what you do in the bathroom and then I heard you throw up and start crying so I decided to see if you were dumb enough to leave the stall unlocked, which you were, and laugh at you for puking and crying." Jade says with a smirk but the smirk can't cover the concern in her eyes. This is the Jade I know with the harsh words although I did have them coming I refuse to tell her what's wrong and she knows I am lying. I also was harsh but I can't be vulnerable in front of her anymore I can't take it, it hurts too much.

"Well laugh it up, go ahead. Make sure to tell everyone too I know you love my pain. I don't even know why I try to be your friend anymore." I say icily. I am completely not being myself. I have never talked to Jade like that and never thought I would. I can't take dealing with her being in love with Beck and being a fake friend to me anymore. I need to stop loving her and maybe stop talking to her altogether.

I turn and walk out of the bathroom, I turn back to see a glare being sent my way from Jade. I just keep walking out the door. I think I hear her say for me to wait in a whisper but I probably imagine it because I really want her to. I want her to tell me to stop because she does care about me and she loves me and only is with Beck because she didn't think I actually felt that way towards her. I'll never hear that though and I need to get over it.

I walk out to my car and leave still feeling a tad nauseous and I just don't want to deal with anyone at school. I decide to go home and take a nap and then go to get Casey. There is another party in Northridge and I really need to forget today.

After I wake up from my nap, I check my phone I have a few missed calls and messages. I don't bother looking at the messages or who called and I call Casey to tell him ill be out his house in 40 minutes. I jump in the shower then I quickly put on some skinny jeans, and a cute low cut shirt; the push up bra I am wearing makes my boobs look bigger in this shirt. I find brown boots in my closet with a heel and then I put on some make up. I dry my hair then grab my keys and purse and go to leave. No one is home so I just leave and get in my car. I get to Casey's at about 8:45 and beep.

"Hey babe. " Casey greets as he gets in my car leans over and kisses me.

"Hey." I simply say before switching the car into drive.

When we get to the party it's a little after 9 and it is in full swing. I quickly make my way into the kitchen and pour straight vodka in a cup. I chug that then grab a beer for Casey and me and we go and sit on one of the couches in the living room. We sit listening to one of Casey's friends tell us a stupid story about something happening at school, I wasn't really paying attention because Jade was on my mind. Jade being on my mind meant I was not drunk enough or high enough for that matter. I got up to go to the kitchen to get some more vodka, beer just wasn't doing the trick. When I get in the kitchen I see my friend Amy that hooks me up with some of her drugs. She likes me so I don't even have to pay.

"Hey Amy!" I greet as I give her a hug.

"Hey babe, looking good today." She says hugging me back.

"Got anything good today?" I say

"Yah here." She says digging into her pocket giving me two little pills. I never ask what they are I just take them. They give me the high I need to get my thoughts away from Jade.

I pour vodka in a cup and swallow the pills. I chat with Amy a little more before telling her I need to get back to Casey and I hug her again. I pour myself another cup of vodka. I go and find Casey and drag him away from his friends. I can feel the alcohol starting to buzz my system and lead him upstairs to a vacant room. I push him down on the bed and start straddling him and remove my shirt. He starts smiling and removes his own before I kiss him. As we start heavily making out with Casey I hear my phone go off. I stop kissing him for a second to make sure it's not my parents though I wouldn't care I own my car they can't make me come back home. I am surprised to see its Jade. I don't bother reading it, I just turn off my phone set it on the night stand next to the bed. As I go back to making out with Casey the pills and alcohol start to take full effect and I start to fade out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you everyone for the reviews on my story. I hope everyone is enjoying it! Here's another chapter!**

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

I woke up in a haze wondering where I was why I was naked and who was in the bed next to me. It took a few minutes to realize it was Casey and I started to remember a little bit last night. I remember being in the kitchen and talking to Amy and I remember taking some pills. After that it's just kinda blank. I look out the window that is in the room and see it's sunny, I'm definitely late for school, I don't know why my alarm didn't wake me up. I don't even remember where I put my phone. I find it on the little table next to the bed. I pick it up to find out it was off, I hold the power button hoping it didn't die last night.

I let it my phone turn on while I get up and stretch. As soon as I stand up my head starts pounding and I feel instantly nauseas. Stupid hangovers. I find my bra and shirt and underwear and pants and get dressed before I slowly make my way into the hallway looking for the bathroom. I'm hoping there is some aspirin in there. Luck is in my favor today when I find a bottle and pop a few, I never go with the recommended dose. I make my way back to the room to find Casey still passed out. I check my phone remembering all the messages I ignored before I came to the party. I wonder why it was off.

"Casey come on we gotta get up we are late for school it's almost 11." I say shaking Casey.

"Ugh leave me alone bitch." Ahh there is the Casey I know. This is how he acts when we wake up hung over, or any other time, I know you question why I stay with him. He is good for drunken drugged out sex.

"If you don't fucking get up I'm leaving your ass here." I didn't use to swear but as I said I haven't been myself lately.

Casey slowly gets up and looks for his clothes I decide to read my messages. I have two form Andre asking if I was okay and why I left early, one from Cat saying she hoped I felt better. Beck texted me it looks like this morning asking if I was still sick and wanted to reschedule the double date tonight. Shit I completely forgot.

"Casey, wanna go on a double date tonight with my friends?" I ask still looking at my phone.

"Ugh do I have to?" He asks annoyed as I look up he puts on his shirt. God he has a nice body.

"I always come to these parties and hang out with your friends. "I say with a little attitude in my voice.

"Yah like I have to force you into coming to these parties. Whatever we can go just pick me up tonight. Lets go I need coffee and you to drive me back to my house so I can change and get my car.

I don't bother talking to him the rest of the time we are together; I drop him off at his house. I don't question why he doesn't give me a goodbye kiss because he never really does anymore. My unasked question is answered as he opens the door quickly to get sick in his front yard. I laugh to myself at his hang over. I know I am a bitch I can't help it. I drive away being the bitch I am I don't get out to help him or ask if he is okay. I go to the coffee place right by Casey's house and grab a cup and a plain bagel and head to school. I have a change of clothes in my car for days like these incase I don't go home after a party. I finished my bagel while I am driving and enjy my coffee as I pull into the parking lot. I throw my hair in a bun and apply some make up I keep in my purse then I grab my bag with the changes of clothes in my bag and head into school. I head to the bathroom to change I get there while class is going on so no one is in the hallways. I have probably about 15 minutes before lunchtime. I change in the stall quickly and then bring my bag of clothes back to my car since I have time to kill. I just sit in my car for a few listening to music mentally preparing to deal with everyone.

After about 10 minutes I head back into the school when classes start letting out. I make my way out to our table for lunch. I don't get anything since I just ate the bagel. I just sit at the table as I sip my coffee before everyone else arrives. I realized I really don't want to talk to Jade today. I know if I just stay with the group she won't say anything about yesterday and then on the double I just have to make sure Casey and Beck are always around us. I never even read her messages. I know she is going to be pissed I ignored her. She hates being ignored even if she is being a complete bitch she hates if someone ignores her when she is talking to him or her.

Of course Beck and Jade are the first to arrive to the table. At least its Beck and Jade not just Jade.

"Oh hey Tori! How are you feeling? I heard you went home sick yesterday." Beck says while smiling and sitting next to me at the table. Jade sits on the other side of him. She just ignores my existence, which is actually good today.

"Oh yah I guess I had a 24 hour bug and just overslept today. I'm sorry I never answered your text I turned my phone off when I went to sleep yesterday." I say giving him a small fake smile.

"Oh it's all good, so do you still want to go tonight or do you want to reschedule?" He asks raising his eyebrows.

"Tonight is great I talked to Casey and he said he'd love to go." I lie but smile anyways.

"Hey Tori how are you feeling?" Cat asks as she comes up and gives me a hug before taking the open spot next to me.

"I'm feeling a lot better Cat thank you." I say finally genuinely smiling.

Andre and Robbie follow shortly after Cat and ask the same thing as her and Beck. I let them know I am feeling better than we just start talking about random stuff. I continue to not talk to Jade and she doesn't talk to me. I actually kind of enjoy it this way, maybe now I can easily get over her. I decide I want another coffee, as I am walking to the coffee stand I feel someone grab my arm. I turn around to see Jade staring at me looking very angry.

"Why are you ignoring me?" She barks at me

"I'm sorry but at the table I am pretty sure you were not talking to me at al." I say sarcastically. I don't know where this new attitude seriously came from but I think I like it. No more nice Tori.

"I meant the texts Vega." She spots fully glaring at me.

"I didn't feel like talking to you." I say turning away so I can get to the coffee stand. Before I get there she grabs my arms and turns me around.

"I hate being ignored." She barks at me.

"I hate being treated like shit but you still do it. Why were you texting me anyways? Have something you need me to help you fix just so after I help you, you can treat me like shit some more." I spit out at her.

There is utter shock on Jade's face after I say that and surprisingly I don't feel guilty at all. I feel like I may have misplaced my heart today with how much of a bitch I was about Casey and now to Jade. I continue to watch her as her facial expression turns to something that looks like almost guilt or sadness but it quickly switches back to anger.

"I'm telling Beck to cancel this stupid double date I don't know why I ever agreed to it. Fuck you Vega this whole trying to be friend's thing is stupid. I am done." She barks at me. Anger is visible in her eyes.

"That's funny Jade don't you actually have to try when you are trying to be friends with someone." I say laughing as I turn and go and order my coffee. When I turn back around Jade isn't standing there. I make my way back to the table and Jade isn't there either.

"Where did Jade go?" I ask beck sipping my coffee.

"She went to find you, said she wanted to talk to you about the double date tonight. She never came back to the table." He says to me looking a little confused.

"Oh." I say shrugging my shoulders while I take out my phone. I open my message and then the guilt hits me as I read her text from last night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

**New chapter for everyone. I just want to take the time to point out Tori is not herself lately because of all the drugs she has been using. Do you think Jade can be the one to help her? Let me know what you think!**

I don't see Jade for the rest of the day. All I can think about is the texts from her. 'Vega I am sorry about today. I am new to the friend thing but I really did go in the bathroom to check on you.' The next one said ' Vega answer me I know you said you don't know why you keep trying to be my friend, I don't either but answer me.' 'Vega I am coming over so we can talk.' 'I hope you are having a good time with Casey and ignoring me. And you act like I am a bad friend.' She actually followed me in the bathroom to check on me? No I won't believe it. She doesn't care about anything that doesn't benefit her. I would know I have been trying to be her friend since day 1. I really hope she did tell Beck to cancel the double tonight.

After school I go home to watch some tv and wait to see if the date is cancelled. I probably should have texted Jade back, the old Tori would but I just watch tv trying to make my brain blank.

I'm watching this show for about 20 minutes when my phone goes off. It's from Beck. 'Double Date still on Jade said she just didn't feel like being at school today, haha you know how Jade can be.' Well fuck. I know Beck really wants us to be friends but I wonder if he would want that knowing I would love if she dumped him to be with me. No I need to stop thinking like that.

I text Beck back real quick to tell him to meet Casey and me at Nozu around 6:30 so we ran grab food and go to the movie after. Then I call Casey.

"Ugh what do you want?" Casey answers the phone, it sounds like he was asleep.

"We have that double date tonight. Be ready for 6:30 and try to not be an asshole tonight." I say and hang up. I need to just end this shitty relationship once and for all.

When 6 finally rolls around I grab two of my little liquor bottles I have hidden in my room and stuff them in my purse I am going to need the alcohol to get through tonight. I get to Casey's and beep like I always do. Casey walks out to my car, I have to admit he looks good tonight, he always looks good but looks only go so far.

"Hey." I say forcing a fake smile when he gets in the car.

He makes a sort of grunt noise but that's it. I know when Casey had a little something to drink because that's the only time he really wants to just kiss me. The only other time we kiss is when we are going to have sex. It's like we are just fuck buddies. I guess that's pretty much all we are. When he is drunk he is lovey and he likes to show me off infront of his friends, we don't really hang out together alone much other than to have sex though. I still don't know why I stay.

We get to Nozu and Jade and Beck are already there. Jade looks less than steller to be there but Beck acts happy to see me. I end up having to sit next to Jade lucky me but I do everything in my power not to talk to her. I quickly go to the bathroom to pee and make this night less awful. I take out my alcohol and chug one quick I stand there for a few minutes while the burning in my throat calms and then chug the second one. Two should be enough. I'm not that hungry so I will probably only have a light dinner. Just as I walk out of the bathroom I see Casey walking up to me.

"Don't fucking leave me with your friends alone again you stupid fucking bitch you hear me?" Casey snarls getting in my face. I am pretty sure he is on something right now but I don't know what. Casey doesn't get like this when he drinks he is a very happy drunk and he isn't this rude when he is sober.

"Ugh get away if you are going to act like that." I say pushing past him only to have him grab my arm and pull me back pushing me against the wall. I guess its good no one is seated by where the bathrooms are to see him slam me against the wall.

"Don't you fucking walk away from me you worthless whore. Are you fucking that guy that Beck guy? Is that why we are here because you want to make him jealous with me?" He says getting in my face. I haven't seen him act like this in a while.

"Fuck you get off me." I growl as I shove him away again.

I walk back to the table and sit down back in my seat, I notice Beck is reading his menu and Jade is for the first time all night looking at me. There is something on her face I can't read though a few minutes later Casey comes back to the table and grabs my hand and holds it in his on the table while he sends Beck a death glare. When did Casey become such an ass? I decide tonight I need to end this. I know I said Casey is bad but it was rarely this bad like it was tonight. Yah he has insulted me multiple times usually if he gets high, or sometimes sober but he will usually apologize soon after.

I pretend to read my menu but I lost my appetite. I feel like I could burst into tears at this whole situation maybe I should have brought a third bottle because the two were not enough.

When our waitress comes over I order a coke and just a small thing of sushi. I don't pay attention to what everyone else orders because I am too busy focusing on faking happy so no one gets suspicious. We get through dinner just chatting about random stuff. Casey should be in Hollywood arts with his amazing acting skills. He acts like he is having a good time as he laughs and jokes with Beck.

I dread the drive to the movies from the restaurant. I don't want to be alone with Casey while he verbally abuses me.

"Do we have to go to this stupid movie with them? There is a party at Jeff's house tonight lets go to that instead we can get drunk and have awesome sex because I'm a lot hotter and better in bed then that Beck douche." Casey says seeming in a less angry mood.

"No." I say staring at the road ahead.

"Ugh you prude lame ass bitch. I played friendly with your friends at that lame as dinner now you owe me." He says starting to get angry.

"No Casey I told you it was dinner tonight and I don't want to go to a party tonight I want to just go see a movie and then go home and relax why can't we do that?" I say still looking at the road.

"Ugh no bitch you are lucky I am with you so after we go to this stupid double date movie shit we are going to the party." He says full blown angry. I pull into a parking spot and still refuse to look at him. He grabs my wrist and squeezes it hard to the point I want to cry.

"Repeat after me we are going to that party tonight you worthless bitch." He spits at me. He is full blown rage mode and I am actually a little afraid of what he might do to me. I have no idea what drug is making him act like this but I know he is extremely drugged up right now. Thankfully Jade pulls up beside me before Casey can do anything. I quickly get out of the care and examine my wrist from where Casey squeezed it really hurts, I think it is already bruising. Luckily I have a long sleeve on so I can hide it from Beck and Jade.

** As we walk into the theatre Casey holds my hand because he likes to show everyone I'm his property and no one else's. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. I am really starting to truly hate my life. We get in the theatre and luckily Beck and Casey sit next to each other so I don't sit next to Jade. I can't even easily see them making out and cuddling. Casey just holds my hand while we sit. Once the movie starts my eyes can't old back the tears and they start flowing free. I cry silently to myself for 15 minutes before I go to the bathroom praying Casey won't follow me. When I get into the bathroom I start crying uncontrollably thinking about all the stuff with Casey and Jade and all the alcohol and drugs. Again as I cry not even bother to go into the stall I don't hear the door open. I feel two arms wrap around my waist and I just barely look up to see Jade with a face full of worry before I bury my head in her shoulder and cry.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

**I am really glad everyone is enjoying this story so far. Heres another chapter read and review please and thanks!**

I never thought I'd be crying and Jade would be the one comforting me. Maybe she really did mean what she said in that text, maybe she really does care. I continue to cry in her shoulder and I feel her rubbing my back. I keep crying for a few minutes and I don't realize right away that Jade has said something to me.

"Wh-wh-what?" I blubber out

"Does he always treat you this bad Tori?" Jade says I can hear the worry and care in her voice there isn't a single trace or anger or sarcasm in the voice. Whatever attitude I had through out the day is gone.

"What are you talking about?" I say how does she know how he treats me? He is fake nice infront of everyone.

"I heard him at Nozu Tori. I heard how he talked to you. I know I have been a bitch to you but you don't deserve that shit he was saying to you." Jade says hugging me tighter. I pull back a little to look at her face. Concern and worry is written all over it, there isn't a single trace of malice or annoyance in her features.

"He's not usually that bad. He is mean but not that harsh." I say averting my eyes.

"How is your wrist?" she says pulling away completely taking my wrist in her hands and rolling up my sleeves. I hiss as she rolls up the sleeve. I forgot about it and when she brushed it with the sleeve it actually hurt.

"It's okay Jade he didn't mean to grab me that much he doesn't usually get physical with me." That is true although I leave out the part about how I was actually afraid of him in my car.

"Tori it's already bruising. You are not okay. I should hit that fucker in his pretty fucking face if he thinks he can just manhandle a fucking woman like that." Jade spits out, she is seething. She starts pacing and her hands are clenched in fists. I don't know how Jade went through dinner if she was this angry about it. She is a great actress though I guess she was putting her skills to use through out dinner.

"No you can't hit him." I say afraid that he might hit back. She stops pacing and looks at me anger disappearing and worry taking back over her face. She gets closer to me stoping about an inch away from my face. Even with everything yesterday and all the shit with Casey tonight I really want to kiss her so badly.

"Are you afraid of him? " Jade asks not in a mocking way in a worried curious way.

"He is on some sort of drug, he is not like this any other time. I don't know what he might do to you if you hit him while he is high." I say as tears start flowing again.

"I won't hit him while he is high then I'll wait until he is sober again. That way I can remind him what a shit he has been." She growls out. Her face softens when she sees my tears and pulls me back into a hug.

"I'm sorry about yesterday and earlier today Jade." I sob into her shoulder.

"I really meant what I said Vega, I want to be your friend just be patient with me I am not very good at it. I do care though; you can always talk to me. Is Casey the reason you were upset yesterday?" She asks softly in my ear.

"We just had a fight the night before. He thinks I am cheating on him. Add a hangover and you have the mess I was in the bathroom yesterday." I finally calm down and stop crying. "We should probably get back to the theatre before Beck and Casey start looking for us." I try and pull away like yesterday though her hold is so strong and I can't break free. I really love that she is hugging me even if it is only in the platonic way.

"I told Beck I needed to talk to you so Beck won't be worried, he could tell you weren't yourself at dinner. As for Casey I could give two fucks about what he thinks since he is the reason you are this way right now." Jade just holds me tight while a few tears stream down my cheek. "I am going to drive your car after the movie I can drop Casey off then take you home and Beck will follow in my car to take us home. I don't think you should be driving or be alone with Casey while he is like this. I don't understand why you stay with him if he treats you like garbage." She says a little angrily.

"Thank you." I just stand there in Jade's arms for a few more minutes. "I'm going to have a long talk with him when he is sober again. I don't think I can stay with him anymore." I say honestly, the way he acted tonight is not worth it to try and forget Jade.

"Good." She says smiling and she pulls back. "I'll be there for you Vega if anything gets bad with him. We should get back to the movie now if you want to?" Jade looks at me when she asks.

"Yeah then we can head home." I start to feel a little dizzy as we head out of the bathroom back to the theatre. I soon realize the alcohol must be wearing off I can feel myself getting the shakes. Tonight is the first night in a couple weeks I haven't taken some sort of drug; I feel myself getting a little shaky. I sit back in the seat next to Casey I see jade sit and whisper in Beck's ear probably what happened in the bathroom and how she is going to drive me home. I can feel Casey glaring at me. I feel him take my wrist that he had earlier and grabbing it to get my attention.

"What the fuck took you so long? Are you fucking Jade now too? Think I wouldn't expect you to cheat with her because she is a girl? You are so worthless." He whisper-hisses at me. He lets go of my wrist and I quickly grab it hoping Jade or Beck didn't see. When I look over at them they are both focusing on the screen.

I focus back on the screen while holding my wrist in my hand. I feel a few silent tears stream down my face and I wipe them away before anyone can see. The movie ends soon after that and we walk our way to our car. I hand my keys to Jade before she can ask and I sit silently in the passenger car. I see Beck get in Jade's while Casey shoots me daggers when no one is looking. He finally just gets in the back.

We drive in silence other than me telling Jade where to go to get to Casey's. When we finally pull infront of Casey's he leans forward and kisses me hard shoving his tongue in my mouth. It takes everything in me not to gag. As he is kissing me he grabs my bad wrist again for the third time tonight and I try not to cry out in pain. I know he purposely did it because of me not driving home trying to get out of going to the party. He pulls back but pauses as he glares at me. I am so thankful Jade drove us home. He gets out quickly after that.

We sit for a few minutes I can't control the tears flowing from my eyes. Jade just leans over and hugs me tight not saying any words. While I cry in her shoulder with my back to Casey's house I don't realize that Casey is watching the whole exchange.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

**I am really happy everyone is enjoying this story so much! Here's the next chapter.**

I cry in Jade's shoulder a few more moments before I compose myself and tell her to take me home. Jade pulls my car into the driveway, she turns off the car and turns to me as she hands me the keys. It looks like she wants to say something but doesn't. I just take the keys and get out of the car. As I am heading to the door Jade grabs my arm and stops me.

"Are you going to be okay?" Er…. I.. uhm…. Would you like me to stay with you tonight? " Jade asks looking slightly uncomfortable. She is really trying hard to be a good friends and I know she is uncomfortable because it's new territory for her.

"I'll be okay, I'm just going to go to sleep; I promise I'll be fine." I give her a reassuring smile and turn to head to the door. I unlock the door and quickly turn to wave goodbye to Beck and Jade as they drive away. I get in the house and my phone goes off. I smile as I read the text. 'Text me if you need anything Vega.'

No one is home today; not that I am surprised. We used to be a loving family and now everything has gone to shit. The family hasn't been the same since my mom' affair with her collogue. She moved out 2 months ago and I haven't spoken with her since. My dad just through himself into work after my mom moved out to distract from it. When he isn't at work he locks himself away in his room. I feel so bad but I just don't know how to talk to him. Even when he is physically in the house he really isn't there. He always leaves money for groceries and extra for anything else Trina or I may need. No one really knows about my parents besides Casey and Amy.

I go upstairs and decide if I am going to stay true to my word. I am itching for a buzz. I feel bad lying to Jade but I really just couldn't have her stay. I don't think I would be able to control myself anymore.

I take out my phone and scroll to the number I want while I make a quick call I grab my purse and keys and head out. I get to Amy's 10 minutes later.

"Hey Girl!" Amy says. I can tell she already has started drinking. I give her a hug and follow her into the house and into the kitchen to make myself a drink. Once I make my drink I start telling Amy about what happened. After two drinks and a couple pills we decided to go to the party Casey wanted me to go to earlier. I can't even remember why I didn't want to go in the first place.

We get to the party and I immediately go and get myself a drink. One of Amy's friends came and picked us up. Probably the only friend of Amy's that doesn't drink or do drugs and will be a DD. As I am drinking and enjoying my night I suddenly spot Casey looking at me dancing. Surprisingly he doesn't look angry, he looks sad. I get slightly nervous as he walks over to me.

"I am so sorry about earlier, can we go talk please?" Casey comes over and pleads to me.

"Fine but we are only talking." I say to him and he nods. We walk into the kitchen so I can make another drink as we talk.

"Babe, I am so so sorry about for how I treated you today and how I have been treating you the past couple of weeks." Casey starts saying actually sounding sorry and remorseful. For a moment I wonder if he is returning to the guy that I met at the mall. I chug my drink and immediately fill another cup with alcohol, I know I should slow down but I can't help it. I just stand there while he apologizes again and again. I wonder how drunk he is right now. After he apologizes again I tell him it's okay because the alcohol and drugs in my system are making me hazy and happy and forgiving. We chat about random things like we used to for a little while until Amy comes in to say we are leaving. My car is at her house so I have to go with her.

I wake up in my bed realizing I am only in a bra and panties; I also realize there is another body up against my back. When I turn to see it's Casey in my bed, I jump out of bed and book it to the bathroom to get violently ill in the toilet. Flashes from last night after we left come back to my brain and cuase me to heave over and over again. I wonder if I stupidly slept with him, ugh I wanted to end it with him. Fuck.

After I finish in the bathroom I grab my robe from the bathroom door and I go back to my room. The covers are pulled up a little around Casey so I can see he is in boxers. I have hopes that we didn't actually have sex. Last night getting into bed is a little hazy, I remember kissing him and him taking off my pants and shirt and his pants and shirt but I don't remember any sex after that. I think we ended up just passing out. I shake him a little to wake him up.

"Ugh, where the fuck am I? " he groans and then looks at me.

"You came back to my house last night I guess." I say

"Why the fuck would I come to your house? Oh that's right I was forced to go out with your friends last night but wouldn't come to a party. Then you had your friend Jane or whatever drop me off, why so you could have a quickie with her? Then after the quickie with you went to Amy, you fuck her too? Then come to the party so you could rub it in my face? Fucking slut." Casey says sitting up in my bed getting in my face. Fuck this.

"Casey we are over. Get the fuck out of my house I don't want to see you again." I yell letting all the anger show.

"Gladly. I can do better than your nasty ass anyways." Casey says as he quickly grabs his clothes, puts them on and then books it down the stairs. I follow him to the door and stop in my tracks as I see a car pull into my driveway. Jade steps out of her car after turning it off looking beyond pissed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

I slowly back into the house keeping my eyes on Jade the whole time. I realize how bad this looks me being in a robe and Casey in his clothes he wore last night. I also realize that I must have missed some texts or calls from Jade for her to just show up at my house.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything last night. I guess form the look of things I got my answer." Jade says icily to me.

"I needed to talk to him about last night. I invited him over this morn…"

"Holy fucking shit Vega don't you fucking lie to me. " Jade screams, interrupting me and getting in my face. "Did you go to that party with him last night? He made you bawl your eyes out in the bathroom and treats you like shit, do you remember that last night Vega?" Jade hiss-asked me staying right in my face. " I guess I know why you didn't want me to stay with you last night. I guess this is also why you didn't feel the need to text me back at all last night or this morning." Jade says this time sounding hurt. It throws me off he being upset I didn't want her to stay. I wonder if it's because I lied and said I would just go to bed, although why would she be mad if I decided to go out. Jade just looks at me waiting for an answer.

" I went out to my friend Amy's last night, I needed to get out of the house and forget about everything last night with Casey." I say hoping to ease Jade's anger.

"I get it, you had a better friend so that's why you didn't need me last night? I am actually trying to be a decent friend and you just ignore me? I know I haven't been the nicest person to you but I am fucking trying Vega. This friendship shit is all new to me." Jade says icily but he voice is losing its icy tone. I know I hurt her feelings.

"I broke up with Casey this morning." I quietly say and start looking down at the floor not being able to look Jade in the face. She is so close I have to fight the urge to kiss her. " You had Beck to bring home last night, even if I wanted you to stay you…"

"Is this fucking payback? Get me to try and be your friend just to hurt me? Don't give me that bullshit excuse that I had to take Beck home. Be fuckign honest with me Tori jesus Christ!" Jade angrily spits out at me. She is right that was a shitty excuse and I lied to her and ignored her. " I guess I am good enough to cry to in the bathroom but you needed a real friend to hang out with last night to help you forget about Casey." Jade says still in my face but her voice is losing its anger and hurt is starting to leak in. She is so close to my face I can feel her breathing on my lips. I don't know what possessed me next but I leaned forward capturing her lips with my own. I am shocked when she wraps her arms around my waist and kisses back. I run my tongue along her bottom lip asking for entrance, which she grants, and I slip my tongue in and slowly start massaging hers. We make out for a few minutes before I pull back before it can get too heated. When I look Jade has an unreadable expression on her face and is breathing heavy.

" I went to Amy's because I wanted drugs and alcohol to forget about last night with Casey." I blurt out and run upstairs to my room. I quickly throw on some clothes and grab my purse, cell phone and keys. I run back downstairs and Jade is still at the door with the same unreadable expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think I could control myself with you last night if you stayed with me. " I say looking at her, as I say it she looks down at the floor. I leave it at that and turn and walk out the door. I run to my car jump in and turn it on. When I look back at the door Jade is standing in it looking at me with a questioning look on her face. I se her lips move but I have no idea what she is saying. I just throw my car in reverse back out of the driveway and speed away. I realize that that's probably the end of the friendship with Jade I can't believe I just stupidly kissed her after lying to her. I reach for my phone and call the only person I know. I know I should stop but I can't. I walk up to Amy's door preparing to forget about this day and Jade.

**I am sorry that this chapter was shorter than the rest and the cliffhanger at the end. please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. This is my first fanfiction so please review and tell me what you think.**

**New Chapter is here! I just want to warn there is some violence in this one. **

I sit at the beach staring out at the water. My mind is playing through everything that has happened the past few days. I think about Saturday when I kissed Jade and ran out of my house speeding away in my car because I was too afraid of what Jade would say about the kiss. I immediately went to Amy's and started drinking. I waited all day and night hoping she would text me and tell me she liked the kiss and wanted me to come over. That text never came, in fact the only person to text me Saturday was Andre asking if I was busy. I had no text from Trina or my dad. I guess I shouldn't be surprised I don't think my dad honestly notices when I am not at the house.

Sunday I had to keep my mind off of everything especially Jade so Amy and I switched between drinking and popping pills. Sunday night we went to a party one of Amy's friends was having. I figured it would be safe to go there because Casey wasn't a friend of the girl and she didn't go to Northridge with I did not plan for the events that night.

As I was dancing with one of the guy's Amy's friend knew having a good time, I hear a familiar voice.

"So this is why you broke up with me, so you can go out to a party and skank it up with a new guy. What the fuck you scummy bitch." Casey's voice boomed as he walked toward the guy and me. Oh fuck I thought.

"Casey, what the hell are you doing here?" I ask stepping back from the guy and Casey.

"Yeah who the fuck invited you?" I hear Amy ask coming up behind me. She didn't like him to begin with but after I told her what happened Friday night she really wanted to punch him in his face.

"Answer my fucking question." Casey yells getting in my face.

"Get away from her man." The guy I was dancing with says pulling Casey. I really hope this doesn't get bad. Right when it looks like Casey is going to hit him two other guys walk up and Casey is now outnumbered. I can tell Casey is on the same shit he was on Friday night.

" You just wait you scummy whore." He spits at me before walking away and out the front door. Thank god he left.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry I never would have thought he would show up here or I wouldn't have brought you here." Amy says hugging me.

"It's okay I don't think I can exactly avoid him he doesn't live that far from me and most of the hang outs around here. I'm fine though; I'm not going to let that low life ruin my night.

I continue to dance with the guy I met and have a good time. Everything is going fine that night. I just finished my drink and I head into the kitchen as I am fixing my drink I feel someone grab my arm and put his or her hand over my mouth from behind.

I'm pulled into the garage in the house screaming but the hand muffles it and the music is so loud in the house no one is going to hear me. The hand twirls me around fast and I see a very angry looking Casey.

"You fucking skanky bitch, you dump me and come to a party to fuck other guys infront of me. You probably were hoping I would be here so you could rub it in my face huh?" Casey yells grabbing my upper arms and squeezing so hard I let out a cry but he doesn't let up. He slams my body into the door hard enough to knock the wind out of me. Holy shit no one is going to hear me even if I tried to scream.

"We were just dancing Casey!" I scream at him.

"Shut up bitch. You are such a whore; if you want to be a skank I should treat you like one then." Casey says as he backhands me across my face. My left cheek instantly stings and I feel the tears spilling from my eyes. "How does that feel? Is that the kind of stuff you are into? You like being smacked around." He backhands me again hitting the other side of my face and my eye. He immediately does it again even harder this time it's almost like he punched me. I can feel my right eye start to swell.

"You deserve to be smack around you useless whore. It's no wonder why your mom left and your dad is a depressed fucked up mess I would be too if I had a daughter like you." He slaps me on my left side again. I started sobbing and fall to the ground.

"Casey please stop; I am so sorry." I plead. He just kicks me in my side knocking the wind out of me again. He starts unzipping his pants and I think oh god. He kneels down and starts fumbling with my pants and hits my face again.

"I'm going to make you regret what you did to me." He says as he starts to pull my pants down. Before he can get the pants all the way down the garaged door opens.

"What the fuck are you doing to her!" I hear Amy yell. I hear what sounds like something getting hit and see Casey fall onto his side with his nose gushing blood.

"Oh my god Tori! Come on get up, lets get you the fuck out of here." Amy says pulling me up and immediately fixing my pants she drags me into the kitchen and grabs a bag of frozen peas to put on my eye. My lips cut open a little and bleeding slightly but I don't even feel it, I'm almost numb. I 'm in a haze and not from the drugs. Someone else comes in the kitchen and I hear Amy tell the guy what happened. He asks if he wants me to call the cops and I just shake my head no I just want to leave and go hide out at Amy's house.

I stay in the haze the entire ride to Amy's house and I just immediately go into her room and lay down.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital." Amy asks.

"No please, I'll be fine I just want to go to sleep and put this night out of my head. " Amy just nods and I lay there. I don't fall asleep for a while. I wish I could talk to Jade right now but I don't even know where my phone is.

**I want to just apologize for any typos in any of my chapters, I try to proof read the best I can but have no-one else to do additional proof reading for me. Thank you for reading my story review and ill have the next chapter up as soon as I can!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

I decide to skip school the next two days I don't feel like explaining to everyone why my eye is black and my lip and cheek bruised. I stay at Amy's because I don't want to go home and have my dad actually come out of his room and see my eye, I also don't want Trina to see. Trina never really questions where I go anymore, she always assumes I just stay at Casey's because of the situation with our dad. I know I must be worrying everyone not responding to texts but my phone when I found it was dead and Amy doesn't have a charger for it. I decide to text Trina from Amy's phone, I don't want her to question anything so I tell her I'll be staying at Caseys. I'll tell her about the break up when my eye is healed up. I just wanted to text her so that my freaked out ignored friends won't try and call the cops.

Monday and Tuesday Amy skips with me. We stay in all day and just order delivery. We watch shitty movies and drink and smoke all day. We take some pills here and there too. I'm glad at one sober moment I text Trina from  
Amy's phone since mine is dead. I just don't want any of my friends calling the cops because I have gone completely MIA. I tell Trina I am at Casey's so she doesn't ask questions; I'll tell her about the break up when I get home after my eye is healed. I don't want to go to school with my black eye and swollen bruised lip and cheek. I also don't want ot go home and have Trina question it or my dad actually walk out of his room and see it. I stay drunk and high to forget all the things Casey said to me.

When Wednesday comes Amy decides to go back to school I still don't want to go in because my eye and cheek and lip. I drive until I find a beach and now I am sitting by the water thinking over everything. I miss Jade. I need more pills I wish I just stayed at Amy's. I had some alcohol when I first got here but it has worn off. I get up figuring it's close to when Amy is going to get home.

"Let's go to the mall or your house so we can get you a knew charger for your phone. "Amy says. The mall sounds fun actually. I haven't been there in a while and maybe it will help me take my mind off everything. I go to the bathroom before we leave and pop a few pills. It's been a few hours and I can feel myself getting shaky and don't feel like having withdrawal symptoms at the mall. I throw on some sunglasses to cover my eye we put some makeup on my eye but it only covers it so much. I don't bother trying to cover my lip it's not as noticeable.

We get to the mall; we go to the one out towards her friend's that had the party the other night. I hope to avoid anyone of my friends from Hollywood Arts. As we walk through I skim clothes, I haven't decided if I am going to get a charger or not. I could probably just sneak into my room tonight after the mall and grab mine. We spend an hour there and its actually not that bad. As we are walking towards the phone store I stop dead in my tracks at who I see down by another store thankfully not looking my way. Jade and Beck. What the hell are they doing out this way? This mall is at least 40 minutes away from her house. I tell Amy and pull her into a store. I'm ducking behind a clothes rack when they walk into the store. God I didn't even think when I just went into the closest store. It's an all goth store, of course Jade is going to come in here. I over here them talk as I stay hidden.

"Do you like this shirt?" Jade asks Beck. He comes up and wraps his arm around her waist.

"Yeah I think you would look good in that." He says with a big smile. "I saw Trina today I ask her how Tori was doing since she has been ignoring our texts. She said she was with Casey and something about her phone died and has no charger. I don't understand what is going on with her lately. She has been different." Beck says sadly

"Hmm that's great." Jade says seeming bored. She doesn't even care. It hurts my heart at her not caring reaction. All because I kissed her? Maybe I shouldn't have told Trina I was with Casey. Maybe that's why she's mad.

"I can't believe after what you told me Friday she would still want to be with him." Beck says.

"Well it's her life. Who really cares. She can date whoever she wants not like she can do better anyways. If she wants to be stupid and stay with a verbally abusive guy that's her choice." Jade says still bored. "Maybe she won't come back, maybe she will transfer out of Hollywood Arts and we can go back to how things used to be." Jade says still bored. What I didn't know was that she had texted me Sunday, Monday Tuesday and Wednesday to try and talk. She was acting like this with Beck because I really hurt her ignoring her texts. I should have just gone to school.

I ran out of the store after that because I can't hear her talk like that anymore I made sure it was when they woulnd't see me. I drop Amy off and say I am going to go home and grab my charger since I didn't buy one at the mall. I get home and ball my eyes out. I can't believe after I kissed Jade that's how she acts. If I am so horrible maybe I should move. Maybe I should just disappear. The drugs are fucking with my mind because I took more than I normally do I pace in my room for a good 40 minutes just thinking. I take a bottle of pills out of my purse I took from Amy's and stare at them. 'Fuck it I think.' I open then bottle dumping a few out. I swallow them all with vodka I had in my room. 'Fuck you Jade, how could I fall in love with such a fucking bitch. I sit on my bed thinking about how much I hate her and my life and how for once I don't care if I live or die anymore. I sit on my bed and turn to the pill bottle. I take the rest of them with some more vodka. I lay down with a smile on my face until the world fades.

**I am sorry for this cliff hanger. This chapter was really dark at the end and i will update as soon as i can i promise!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. **

I woke up in a haze, I heard beeping coming from a machine that was directly to my right. I had wires connecting to the machine and an iv in my arm. I realized quickly that I was in the hospital. Then everything started rushing back to me.

"Fuck" I mutter out loud to myself. My head is splitting and I feel so hungry and upset to my stomach at the same time.

"Yeah I would say." A very upset voice says to me. I look over to the to the chair by my bed and where the voice came from.

_Flashback _

_ 3__rd__ person POV_

Amy is sitting in her room waiting for Tori to get back on Wednesday night. It's been about 20 minutes. ' I should call and make sure she is okay she should have been back by now.' Amy thinks to herself. Tori's phone goes straight to voicemail. Amy grabs her keys and wallet and heads out to her car. She wants to make sure Casey didn't make a special visit to Tori. When Amy gets to Tori's house she doesn't see Casey's car there. 'That's a good sign.' Amy says stepping out of her car.

Amy walks up to the door and surprisingly it opens. She walks in the house and calls out to Tori. There's no answer and she doesn't hear the shower running. 'Maybe she is listening to music.' Amy thinks as she walks up to Tori's room. Up in the hallway the door to the bathroom is open. Amy heads to Tori's room. The lights are off and she once again calls out to Tori. Still no answer. Amy starts panicking a little to questioning where Tori is. She turns on the light in the bedroom and screams at what she finds. Tori is unconscious on the bedroom floor with the empty pill bottle right next to her.

"Oh no Tori!" Amy scream cries. Amy tries to shake Tori awake as she calls 911 on her phone. After she gets through they tell her they are on their way. Amy calls Trina from her phone no answer. After leaving a voicemail for her, she plugs in Tori's phone. Amy calls the first number on the phone in the phone log not having much time; she can hear the ambulance not too far away.

"What the FUCK do you want Vega?" Jade's furious voice booms.

"Uh-umm T-t-this is-isn't Tori. My name is Amy I'm a friend of Tori's." Amy stutters out as she tries not to cry. Amy can hear Jade ruffling in the background.

"I'll be right over." Jade says quickly before hanging up.

Jade made it to Tori's house in record time to see her being loaded into the ambulance and Amy standing by. Amy had told the paramedic what she probably took but she had no idea how many pills she had actually taken at once. Jade started tearing up seeing Tori's lifeless body in the ambulance.

"Oh no Tori what did you do." Jade quietly muttered to herself. Amy turned to look over at Jade.

"Let's go we will follow the ambulance to the hospital." Jade says to Amy. Amy ran and got in the car and they followed behind the ambulance to the hospital. Jade didn't care if she was speeding and going through lights behind the ambulance. Both girls stayed quiet the entire ride to the hospital; Amy tried Trina's cell a few more times but still nothing.

_End Flashback._

"Jade?" I whisper my voice hoarse.

"You scared the fucking shit out of me Vega. What the fuck!" Jade says through tears as she comes over and gently hugs me. It feels so good for her to hug me. "I thought you were going to die." She quietly whimpers out.

Jade stands up and wipes away her tears as her expression changes from sad to angry.

" I just need to know, did you do this on purpose Vega? Were you trying to purposely kill yourself? Do you know what you dying would fucking do to me? I mean you kiss me and run out on me. You ignore me for a few days and then you overdose on pain pills. " Jade yells out these questions angrily. "Vega, was it on purpose?" This time Jade has a pained expression that broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

"I-I." I try to tell her that it wasn't on purpose but I can't form the lie.

"I got my answer thanks." Jade says and starts crying again as she walks out of the door and away from me.

In the years I have known Jade I have never seen her that upset. The day she came over and cried over the break up with Beck she wasn't even as upset as she was today. I pained me knowing I caused her this pain. I am such a bitch and I don't think I hated myself ever before as much as I do now. As I am lost in my self-pity party for hurting Jade the door opens and I turn to see my dad and Trina walk in. Both have tears streaming down their face.

"Hey kiddo." Dad says as they walk over. They both hug me together and we stay like that for a few minutes, all three of us crying.

"I'm so sorry." I sob out. How could I be so selfish? I didn't think of anyone when I took the pills.

"No Tori, I am sorry. I am sorry that since your mom left I have not been there to see you were upset. I didn't see what I was doing to you guys, I was being selfish and only thinking of myself. I forgot that this affected you guys as well. I am so sorry I let you down." My dad says squeezing me a little. After a few moments both Trina and my dad sit in the chairs by my bed. While a nurse comes in and checks me out. The doctor comes in shortly after telling my dad they want to keep me a few a couple more days to just monitor me.

We just sit and chat for an hour just talking about anything because that's really what I need right now. My dad says he is going to try to be home more and to make time to spend with us. I don't bring up where mom is. I don't want to ruin the nicest moment we have had in two months. My dad gets up to go get coffee Trina sits in the chair while he leaves.

"I love you Tori, I may be a self centered bitch a lot of the times but I need you to know I love you and the thought that you almost died killed me. You're my best friend my sister, no one will ever have a bond like we have." Trina says crying and giving me a hug again. After Trina sits back down there is a knock on the door before it opens to reveal a still upset looking Jade.

"Mind if I come in?" Jade quietly asks looking at me briefly before looking at the floor.

"I'll give you two some privacy to talk." Trina says getting up as Jade walks in. She stops and looks at Trina and then Trina gives her a hug. I was shocked. What happened while I was out? Trina leaves the room as Jade sits down. Jade still looks upset and though she isn't crying right now her eyes are still red and puffy.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't think." I say to Jade holding out my hand towards her.

"Your right you didn't think at all." Jade says but not angry, I would have rather her sounded angry the hurt in her voice is killing me. Jade finally looks at me starting to cry again and grabs on to my hand.

"Why?" She whimpers out.

**This is a longer chapter, i didn't want to leave it on too huge of a cliffhanger. Let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me **

**I decided to give everyone an extra chapter today! I hope everyone enjoys it! Reviews are appreciated.**

I stare at our hands linked together. I didn't expect her to hold my hand or intertwine are fingers when I reached for it. Jade has her head down on her forearm; I can hear her sniffling a little. Jade looks back up at me asking me again.

"Why Tori, why did you purposely overdose?" She is so heartbroken when she speaks. I can't stand to look at the hurt in her eyes knowing I cause. I decide to tell her the truth; she deserves to know after everything. I don't know how to even tell her everything though.

"I, uh , well." I start but don't know where to even go from there.

"Please Tori. I think I deserve some answers." Jade says looking me in the eyes with a little anger in her tone.

"It all started when I met Casey. I dated him to get my mind off of whom I truly had feelings for. He was nice and cute and I thought I could fall in love with him since the person I loved was already with someone else. It was great at first but it quickly went downhill from there. I started going to parties out in Northridge with him because at first he was fun. I was forgetting about the person I was in love with being there with him drinking and at the same time forgetting about all the stuff going on at home. My mom had been having an affair with her colleague at work. When my dad found out he was heartbroken and instead of trying to work it out with him my mom packed up and left. I haven't talked to her since." I pause looking at Jade, who has an unreadable expression. Before she can say anything I start talking again.

" As the nights of partying went on Casey went form being the fun, kind caring guy into this unrecognizable asshole. We would drink and he wouldn't be as bad as he was sober and we'd have sex so I could just forget about everything. I went to the school hung over more than I went sober. I was turning into a mess and he was helping with my downward spiral. At one party I met Amy and we instantly clicked. We would hang out at other parties and I would forget about Casey. After a few weeks I started experimenting with drugs finding that they helped me forget about the person who held my heart. Casey had progressively gotten worse until he was just as bad as he was that other night at Nozu and the movies."

I look at Jade and she has a mix of anger and sadness in her face. She is still holding my hand and even squeezed it when I mentioned Casey, not in an I'm sorry way but in an angry way.

"That day at school you found me in the bathroom I was exceptionally bad. I had mixed a few different pills and a lot of alcohol. I was extremely hung over, Casey was being awful the night and morning before and I had to see the person I love with someone else. I lost it and got sick in bathroom before balling my eyes out. " Jade isn't looking at me she is looking down at our hands probably trying to figure out who I am in love with.

"I saw you with Beck and then he brought up going on a double date and it killed me knowing I would see you two cuddling in the theatre. I didn't want to be with Casey anymore but I wouldn't break up with him because I thought that if I kept getting high and drunk and having sex with him I'd get over my feelings. I thought if I stayed with him I'd stop loving you." Jade looks back up at me with an unreadable expression. "I went to a party Friday night with Amy to get drunk and high to forget about you and how Casey treated me. He apologized when I ran into him there and I was so high I stupidly fell for it. Saturday morning he was back to his old douche self and I instantly broke up with him before he came over. I felt so bad you came over and caught me in a lie after I ignored you. I am sorry for ignoring you and not letting you stay with me. I didn't want anything more than you staying over but I didn't think I'd control myself with you. After I kissed you Saturday I felt so stupid for losing control I figured you would hate me for it. I couldn't stand to hear you say you hated me or were disgusted at me for kissing you so I ran away like a baby. I stayed high all night. Somewhere between that night and Sunday night I had lost my phone. I was going to go to school Monday I didn't mean to skip all the days I did but on Sunday, something happened." I stop because I am crying now preparing to talk about the shit that went down on Sunday night with Casey. Jade is still holding my hand, she gripped it a little harder seeing how upset I got when I said something happened Sunday. She had a look of worry on her face.

"Sunday we went to a party out past Northridge with one of Amy's friend's. We went to that one on purpose not thinking that Casey would even know about it. He did and he showed up. He was drugged out like that Friday and pulled me out to the garaged giving me a black eye and bruises all over my body. If Amy hadn't stopped him when she did, he would have." I stopped crying a little harder. Jade had squeezed my hand a little hard and also out her other hand over mine. "He would have raped me." I full out sobbed now.

"I didn't want the cops involved so I just skipped school the next three days. When I found my phone I figured out it was dead so we went Wednesday so I could get a charger at the mall. I saw you and Beck all the way out at that one. I had no idea why you were there and didn't want you to see my eye and lip. I hid in the store and over heard you. I was hurt and I know I honestly had no right to be after ignoring you, you sounded like you didn't care that I was gone. I thought you hated me. I wish I could go back and just tell you right then and there how I felt. I never thought in my high that you might have been texting me all week while I was gone. I don't even remember when I lost my phone. I just wanted to end it thinking you hated me. I was already so high I couldn't think straight. I just wanted the pain gone. I just went back to my house and popped a bunch of pills I took from Amy's. I don't even know how I made." I was sobbing again. I looked up at Jade. She had tears streaming down her face and she was shaking from anger.

"You are so fucking stupid Vega." She snarled out at me as she let go of my hand.

I let my head hang as I cried harder waiting for Jade to run out. I heard Jade stand up and pause; I thought she was going to hit me. After a few seconds she still hadn't moved I was about to look up when she crashed her lips against me. She gripped my face in her hands as she kept kissing me hard. I let out a gasp of shock and she let her tongue slip into my mouth. I felt her tears drip onto my face but she just kept kissing and massaging her tongue with my tongue. She finally pulled back a little for air and opens her eyes looking deep into mine.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

Jade looks into my eyes with her beautiful blue green eyes. Then she kisses me again, not as hard this time. God she is an amazing kisser. I can feel my panties getting wet and everything just vanishing from my mind. I could get used to the feeling of Jade's tongue in my mouth massaging my tongue and the roof of my mouth. When she pulls back she nestles her face into my neck kissing my neck again and putting her arms around my shoulders. Jade is not a hugger. This hugging is so strange from her; I don't even think she hugged Beck that much. I can feel her tears sliding down onto my neck.

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" She whispers in my ear softly. Her breathe in my ear sends a shiver through my spine.

"Because I was too much of a baby, I liked that we at least had a friendship and I thought I could be happy with just that." I say starting to cry just a little. "Plus you were so happy with Beck."

"Uh well, I didn't tell anyone but Beck and I broke up a month ago. We have just stayed best friends. He could tell we were drifting apart and we were both unhappy. We never told anyone because Beck didn't want all the girls at school bugging him for a date and I just went along with it." Jade says finally sitting up and looking at me. She put her hand on the side of my face. "I thought I lost you Saturday. I didn't text you because I figured in the mad dash to leave you wanted a little space. I texted you Sunday and you never answered I even called and you didn't pick up. I decided to try your house and Trina said something about you were probably out with Casey because that's where you go when you aren't home lately. When I said you had dumped him she said you probably took him back because that's what you always did. I knew I shouldn't have listened to her but you weren't answering my texts after you left and I was left to wonder if it's because you got back with him. " Jade looks deep into my eyes and leans forward kissing my lips briefly.

"I wanted to see how you acted with Casey so I suggested to Beck we double even though we weren't really together. I really wanted to cancel it when we got in the argument because I didn't think they was anyway you liked me like that. Beck talked me out of cancelling it."

I look at her shocked. Wait she has liked me this whole time? Seriously? Jade smiled at me for the first time in what feels like a week.

"I like you Vega. I was too afraid to tell you though. I set up the double date and made Beck ask you so you would think it was his idea. I wanted to see if you liked Casey all that much. I didn't want to ruin the relationship if you were truly happy but I could see you weren't happy that night and he was not doing a good job of acting all happy like he tried. I still didn't know if you had feelings for me yet, you did a good job of covering that up, although Beck was sure you did. I didn't want to push and make you uncomfortable so I didn't try to push to stay Friday. I admit I was jealous and a little unfair Saturday morning when I came over but you know I hate being ignored. " She paused her talking to look at me with a serious look on her face. "I was so happy when you mentioned you dumped Casey but I started thinking that maybe you were into Amy. I was jealous, that's just how I get, I didn't even know for sure that you were into girls. Then you shocked the fuck out of me when you kissed me. I wasn't expecting it and then you ran off, I thought you might have regretted it." Jade took her hand from my face and intertwined her fingers on my hand. She looked at our hands making a random pattern with her thumb on the top of my hand. She smiled quickly at our hands but then turned serious when she looked back at me. The pain evident in her eyes and I could see tears forming again. I can't believe she is showing emotions so well in front of me; she must really like me.

"I really thought you regretted the kiss. It hurt so bad, I wanted to follow you and call you and ask why you left but I decided I really needed to give you space. I figured you would talk to me in your own time Saturday. So after I talked to Trina Sunday I let my insecurities get the best of me thinking you got back with Casey. I got angry because that's what I do best, I don't like to show any other side. I don't like vulnerability. I was a little worried when you didn't show up Monday and Tuesday but of course I wouldn't say something. Beck avoided talking about you after I told him the deal about Saturday and Sunday. I lied to him about Saturday and Sunday saying I didn't really like you all that much after the double date Friday. I was hurt thinking you may have gotten back with Casey but I didn't want him to know. He didn't talk to me about you again until Wednesday after he dragged me out of the house. We were out at the mall past Northridge to avoid seeing anyone we knew. I'm guessing you heard the first time he decided to bring you up in conversation. He knew I had been lying about liking you after Saturday and Sunday. I tried to say I wasn't upset but I was hurt. When he told me the whole thing Trina said about you being back with him I got super angry but still tried to show I wasn't upset. I'm guessing you left before his plan to get me to open up worked. " Jade stops talking and just stares at me still holding my hand. Silent tears streaming down both our faces.

"I'm so sorry Jade. I shouldn't have walked away Saturday. That kiss was the best thing that has happened to me in years. It made me forget about everything momentarily. I'm sorry I wish I got your texts. I wish I could have been more honest and not such a baby about everything." Jade wiped my tears from my cheek with her free hand.

"I was afraid when Amy called me I wouldn't be able to tell you how I really felt about the kiss, how I really felt about you." Jade says, this time I wipe away her tears from her face. "Beck got me to finally open up Wednesday saying that I was falling for you and I was absolutely crushed you got back with Casey. We left shortly after and he held me while I cried in his car. He told me I needed to talk to you when you were ready to talk and to just give you sometime. I needed to admit that I really liked you and show that I care even if that made me vulnerable. He was almost positive you liked me and not Casey. I had plans to call you that night and then Amy called me from your phone. I felt my heartbreak." Jade squeezes my hand tighter. "Please don't do that to me again Tori, I honestly don't think I could live without you." Jade says with the most sincere look in her eyes. I have never seen her so vulnerable.

"I promise I won't Jade. I-I love you." I say as she leans in to kiss me again.

**I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Can Tori finally be happy and without drugs with the help of Jade? Please review tell me what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

Over the next few days I end up staying at the hospital to be monitored and make sure I am okay. I found out I was in a coma for a few days after overdosing. If Amy hadn't gotten to me when she did I would probably be dead. All my friends came and visited me. I apologized to everyone profusely for my behavior and the overdose. I made a special apology to Amy about stealing the pills and overdosing. She said all was forgiven and she was going to do her best to get clean. Even though I know Jade didn't like Amy all that much for giving me drugs in the first place she was very grateful to her for saving my life basically. I had a bad headache my whole stay and I started getting the shakes and very nauseous. The doctor said it was withdrawal symptoms. I had to admit that I was recreationally using drugs and drinking. I hated the guilt and sorrow I saw in my dad's eyes.

The symptoms came and went throughout the day. They gave me stuff for the nausea the first time I threw up. The medicine did help but I still puked a few more times through out the days. I tried to cover the pain when friends were visiting. It was such a relief to not have to hide it in front of Jade.

"Tori, I know you are trying to cover up the pain you are in, you don't have to do that in front of me. I'm going to stay with you through this." Jade said as she held my hand the first day I was really hit hard with the symptoms. I just sat and cried my stomach was cramping and my head and chest hurt. I felt so sick. Jade stuck to her word even the few times the medicine didn't fully help me and I got sick she held my hair back for me or hold my hand when I finally put my hair up.

"How can you still like me after seeing me like this. I'm such a fucking mess Jade you can do so much better." I sobbed as I shook in the hospital bed.

"Tori, you are going through a hard time and I am going to be with you through this." Jade said looking into my eyes. " Your so beautiful Tori, you are the only person I want." Jade whispered, leaning in kissing me. She climbed in bed and held me while I shook. I just cried in her shoulders until I finally could fall asleep. I didn't think I could love her anymore than I already did but I found myself falling even deeper in love in these past days with her.

During visiting hours Jade came to visit me and try to help me as much as she could. I continued my façade pretending I wasn't in pain when our friends were around. Jade would lay in bed with me or sit in the chair and hold my hand when no one else was around otherwise she would just in the chair. We didn't know exactly what we were and were definitely not ready to tell everyone else. All that really mattered was that Jade knew how I felt about her and I knew how she felt about me. Jade convinced my dad she would stay with me two nights when he got called to work. I told him it was okay to go and he finally left. Jade climbed up in bed with me and held me all night both nights she stayed. Being in her arms almost took away the pain and the chills. I couldn't wait to get out of this hospital bed and be in my own bed with her holding me. It was just amazing being in her arms. It made me feel like everything was going to be all right.

"How are you feeling today?" My dad says walking into my room. Today was Thursday and I was finally able to go home.

"Better than I have felt in a while." I say smiling. I was so glad to be going home my withdrawal symptoms were not as bad anymore. I was getting prescribed some nausea medicine but the doctor said I should be okay to go home. My dad had switched shifts this week at work so that he wouldn't be off during the day to visit me and also for when I got home to take care of me. Trina will be there during the evenings to help if I need anything. The doctor wants me to take things easily for the next few days but says I should be okay for school by Monday. I am actually very excited to go back to school. During the days I was out Jade got all my assignments for me form my teachers so I could catch up.

By the time my dad fills out all the paperwork for my releases it's after 2. I am so excited to get to leave. I hope Jade is going to come over and visit me today. I miss her I haven't seen her since the early afternoon yesterday. She came to visit and left after about a half hour saying she had to go and do a project for school that was worth a lot of her grade. I was sad but I can't make her stay and end up failing a class.

"Ready to go Tor?" My dad says coming into my room after I finished changing into my real clothes.

"Yes I am." I say smiling at him.

We walk out to his car. I cannot wait to go home and just lay down in my bed. We have a nice drive back to the house we don't really talk too much but it's comfortable to just sit.

When we finally get home I just about run to the door. I am still too weak and tired to run and I really should take it easy. When I open the front door I am greeted by a wonderful smell and see Trina and Jade working together in the kitchen.

"Oh my god that smells amazing." I say out loud. I notice in the dining room there is a banner above the back door saying 'Welcome Home Tori,' I immediately start to tear up. I feel arms wrap around my waste and a kiss on my neck.

"Welcome home babe." Jade whispers in my ear. I turn around and kiss her full on the lips.

"Thank you." I say through tears. I see that Trina and my dad are not down here anymore, probably wanted to give us some privacy. I see on the table in the living room a vase full of beautiful pink and white roses. There's a stack of movies I can't make out next to them.

"Trina is helping me make you dinner. I got these movies for us to just relax and watch so you can take it easy and get all better." Jade says taking my hand and walking me over to the table. She motions for me to sit. "The flowers are for you, I picked some of the movies I thought you would enjoy." Jade says reaching for the movies. She has all five of The Twilight movies rented, The notebook, How to lose a guy in 10 days, 10 things I hate about you and Katy Perry's Part of Me. I start tearing up even more. Jade hates every one of these movies and she said we would watch them.

"Thank you for everything Jade, you don't know how much it means to me." I say through my tears.

Jade just looks at me for a second, she is so stunningly beautiful I could stare in her eyes all day. She leans forward and kisses me. I open my mouth allowing her tongue to slip in and massage mine. We make out for a few seconds before she pulls back and pulls me into a hug.

"I wish I told you sooner about my feelings," She says into my shoulder. "I should have stopped you Saturday before you left and told you." She kisses my neck and my jaw making me shudder.

"I'm so sorry about everything Jade I really am, I'm so sorry I put you through that, even if you did hate me I shouldn't have done what I did." I cry into her shoulder and she just holds me while I cry.

**I had a lot of trouble writing this chapter, i rewrote parts 3 times at least. Please let me knwo what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

After I cried in Jade's shoulder for a few more minutes I finally sat back and just looked at Jade. She wiped away some stray tears off my cheeks.

"I never made things easy on you Vega, I'm so sorry. I swear I'll make it up to you. " Jade said with a sad smile before standing up and reaching her hand out to me. "Come on dinner is almost ready and I imagine you can't wait for a nice home cooked meal after all that nasty hospital food." Jade said with a happier smile.

I took her hand as she led me to the living room and pulled out a chair for me to sit in. She went back in the kitchen and I could hear her getting the plates and silverware out. I sat awaiting the delicious food I smelled. After a few more minutes Trina and my dad came back down. My dad sat next to me and Trina went into the kitchen to help Jade get everything set up. Trina brought out a big bowl of salad with the bottle of Italian dressing and plates for each of us for the salad. Jade brought out a plate for my dad and I with dinner already served on it followed by Trina's and hers. Jade sat down on the other side of my and Trina shortly followed bringing out glasses and a pitcher of water. The lasagna they made not only smelled delicious but also tasted heavenly. It made my entire body warm that Jade made my favorite dinner for me.

Through dinner we just chatted about random happy things keeping the conversation light. After dinner Jade refused to let me help with dishes telling me I had to go sit on the couch and relax; I did as I was told. After Trina and Jade cleared the table and took care of the dishes Jade joined me on the couch after popping a movie in while Trina and my dad disappeared upstairs.

"Thanks for dinner tonight, it was really amazing and really sweet."

I turn to look at Jade. She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me into her while the movie starts.

"I have a lot to make up for. I.. I really like you Tori." Jade says with seriousness. I know this isn't easy for her. " I don't want to just tell you though I want to show you. I want you to feel as special as you are to me." Jade smiles, I love her smile. "It put things in perspective when I thought I would never see you again. I suck at the whole romance and relationship thing but I'm going to try and be better at it." Jade has a smile but her eyes are sad. I can see the guilt in her eyes from all the torture she put me through.

"The fact that you are going to sit through The Notebook, which I know you would rather stick needles through your eyes than watch means more to me than you know." I say and she laughs.

"I'm going to even try not gag either!" She says and we both laugh. "The movie may not be anything I enjoy but the company is great enough for me watch anything." Jade says looking me in the eye.

I lean in a kiss her wrapping my arms around her neck. The kiss starts out slow; I lean into Jade before my tongue finds hers. Our tongues start battling for dominance as the kiss becomes more heated. I run my hand down Jade's back lightly scratching my nails. Jade's grip around my waist tightens. Jade breaks the kiss before it goes too far.

"You are an amazing kisser." I whisper in her ear before kissing her neck and turning back to the movie. I leave my arms around her neck and move my legs so they are across her lap.

We watch the rest of the movie just cuddling on the couch. I really wish I admitted my feelings I really missed out on some cuddle time. After the movie ended it was around 7:30 and my dad was coming down getting ready to head to his night shift. Jade got up to use the bathroom and give us a few moments of privacy.

"Okay I'm going to head to work I'll be home in a few hours but if you need anything at all call me and I'll get here as quick as I can." He comes over and kisses me on the forehead. He hesitates at the door. I can tell he doesn't want to leave he has had the same pain guilty look in his eyes since I woke up in the hospital. When he smiles the pain is still evident in his eyes. " I love you Tori, always remember that."

"I love you too Dad." I say smiling. He smiles and walks out the door locking it behind him.

I wipe away a few stray tears away as Jade walks back over to the couch. I have been crying a lot the past week; I just have a roller coaster of emotions.

"Tor, are you okay?" Jade sits back down looking at me with concern.

"Yeah I just, this is the most my dad and I have talked since my mom left. I missed it, a lot." Jade smiles at me, pulling me in for a hug.

"Come on lets go up to your room and throw a new movie in." Jade stands taking my hand.

"Will you stay with me tonight? Please?" I ask shyly as we get in my room. She sits on my bed and pulls me down next to her. " I just, I really don't want to sleep alone." I never admitted it to anyone but since the attack from Casey I have been scared to be alone. I should have pressed charges when it happened but I was too high. He can come and attack at anytime now.

"Of course I'll stay with you. Don't be afraid ill protect you." Jade whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek. I give her some pjs to wear and an extra toothbrush. After we get ready for bed we get under the covers and turn on the movie. We watch the movie Jade holding me until we both fall asleep.

I get up to get some water not checking what time it is. It's still dark and I know it's still early morning. I grab a glass form the cabinet and fill it with water.

"Miss me baby?" I scream at the familiar voice. I turn to see Casey standing in the kitchen right behind me. "I have missed you. " Casey pushes me up against the counter. He starts kissing me and moves his hands to my pants. Before he can do anything I shove him back. He comes back at me angry, slamming against the counter.

"You fucking whore!." He hits me knocking me down and then pulls out a knife from his pocket and brings it down to stab me.

I scream myself awake. I'm shaking and breathing heavy I can feel the tears stream down my face.

"Holy shit Tori are you okay!?" Jade grabs me and hold me tight and I just cry into her shoulder.

"C-C-C-Casey was in my kitchen and was going to stab me." I cry out. I can feel Jade's embrace tighten around me.

"I'm going to protect you, I won't let that worthless fuck near you again. And if I see that pathetic excuse for a life I'll kill him. I fucking end him." I don't think I have ever heard Jade so mad. I can feel her shaking with rage. I just wrap my arms around her tighter.

"I know you will." I whisper and lay back down with her after she calmed down a little. We hold onto each other as both fall back asleep.

**As always let me know what you think! I am so happy everyone likes this story so far!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

I sat in the mirror looking at myself. Today was going to be the first day I went back to school in over a week. I was both excited and nervous. I know even though Jade and I haven't established our relationship and haven't told our friends about us yet but I know I'll have her to talk to at school at any point. Jade and I watched movies and just cuddled all weekend long; Jade didn't once mock and complain about the movies we watched. Everyone came over to visit Saturday and we just sat around watching stupid tv shows and playing cards. It was nice to hang out all together like we used to. No one questioned Jade being here when everyone arrived or her being nicer to m. Jade stayed with me each night and held me, if I had a nightmare she helped me go back to sleep. Trina helped me out as much as she could and at one point I think I heard her thank Jade for being with me. I hadn't really talked to Amy much; she was doing an inpatient detox to get clean. I know how hare it was to go through detox and she had been doing drugs even longer than me.

My dad would spend time with me during the days before he had to work, we would play board games or watch stupid shows we could laugh and make fun of. Trina and Jade would sometimes join and Jade even looked like she was having fun. Things in my life were finally turning around.

"You look gorgeous today." Jade said as she stepped into my doorway. I didn't even hear the front door open. She had left at about 5:30 this morning to go home and get ready for school and get some things. She snuck back over last night after her parents went to sleep to stay with me, and went over early so they wouldn't know she was gone. They didn't care she stayed all weekend they just didn't like sleepovers on nights before school.

"Have you looked in the mirror today?" I say turning to kiss her as she walks over.

"Yeah I have, I know I look hot today, but your still gorgeous." Jade says kissing me again with a smile on her face. She has been smiling a lot more lately. It makes me wonder how long she hadn't been truly happy.

Throughout the weekend I could see in Jade's and my dad's eye the guilt to slowly start going away. It was there it just wasn't as strong in their features. I could see it flash through their eyes at any point when we were laughing and having a good time. It wouldn't stay long but anytime I noticed it hurt me inside. They shouldn't feel guilty. I should.

"Come on we don't want to be late for your first day of school." Jade says taking my hand in her own and looking at it for a second. "I know we haven't really talked about what we are or anything but if you need me at any point today, text me I will come meet you." Jade says looking up in my eyes with a serious expression.

"I'm a little nervous but knowing I will have you there makes me feel a ton better. I really appreciate everything you have been doing for me." I say and Jade smiles pulling me into a tight loving embrace.

"Anytime Vega. Now get your ass moving it's time for school." She pulled away with a smirk on her face. And I laugh.

On the drive to school I notice Jade seems a little nervous. She is usually such a confident person I'm not used to ever seeing her nervous.

"Hey you okay?" I say and she briefly looks away from the road to me.

"Uh yeah, I'm okay." She smiles and I know it's fake. I don't want to push her so I just drop it. As she pull into a parking spot at the school I'm about to get out but she stops me.

"Wait, Um Vega, er Tori, I was, I was wondering, I know you have a lot of work to catch up on but I was wondering if I could take you out tomorrow night on a proper date?" Jade asks shyly. She's so nervous when she asks it's adorable.

"Nothing would make me happier Jade." I grab her hand and squeeze it.

"Awesome, I'll give you the details later. Lets get to class." She squeezes my hand back before we get out of the car.

School was better than I expected, I was a little far behind in classes but I was quickly catching up. All my friends were there to support me and acting like nothing had changed. They over saw my bad behavior and had forgiven me for all the stupid shit I had done the past couple months. I vowed to be a better friend to everyone, especially Jade. I was just finishing up at my locker when I saw the person I could potentially see me spending the rest of my life with. I know I said we don't have a title or anything and the relationship is new but I have loved her for a while now.

"Hey Tor." Jade kisses me on the cheek after making sure no one could see.

"Hey Jade." I smiled at her. I had a hard time looking at her and not smiling.

"You ready to go? I figured I could give you a ride home and we could work on homework together for a little while, if you'd like?" Jade asks a little nervous.

"Of course i'd like that." I squeeze her hand.

"Good. Come on lets go." She says pulling my hand and smiling.

When we get back to the house my dad is already there. We talk with him for a little and he tells us he is making some steak for dinner. Jade and I head up to my room to do some homework.

After about two hours of homework, we head downstairs for dinner. My dad made steaks, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans and some corn on the cobb.

"Dad the food smells delicious!"

"Yeah it smells great Mr. V! " Jade and I sit down at the table next to each other. Trina comes and sits next to Jade. They aren't the best of friends but they are a lot nicer to each other ever since I was in a coma. I like it that way. Trina has even put me first in her life. I know she has guilt too she just for some odd reason can do a better job of hiding it then Jade and My dad can.

Jade helps my dad clean up after dinner and says I need to go and sit with Trina in the living room.

_Jade's POV_

I walk the plates into the kitchen behind Mr. Vega, helping him clear the table. I scrape any scraps off them and load them right in the dishwasher for him while he puts away the vegetables in the fridge.

"Mr. Vega, um I wanted to ask you something." I am more nervous to ask Tori's dad approval of the date then I was asking her.

"Please Jade, call me David." He turns to me with a warm smile.

"Okay David. I would like to take Tori on a date tomorrow, after school. I know she has a lot of work to make up I promise I won't have her out very long." I rush to say nervous for his answer.

"It killed me when I found out about her overdose. It killed me more to know that I wasn't there to notice how much of a hard time she was having. I see a sparkle in her eye whenever you're around that I haven't seen in months. If you make my daughter happy I will not stand in the way. I appreciate you coming to me for my approval." He smiles at me putting his hand on my shoulder. "I can tell she really likes you."

"Well I really love her." I blurt out and turn red. I can't believe I just said that to him.

"Take care of her, because you know I'm a cop and if you hurt her…" He smiles and tries to cover his laughter. I laugh with him promises I will do everything in my power to try and never hurt her.

I decide to head home and plan the rest of our date. I go over to Tori on the couch.

"I'm going to head home now, I'm going to take you on a date right after school. " I say to her smiling. I find myself smiling a lot more lately. I always thought I was happy with Beck but being around Tori in this way makes me even happier.

"Okay I'll walk you to the door." Tori stands up. When we get to the door Tori hugs me tight. I was never a real hugger but I can't get enough of Tori's hugs.

"Call me tonight if you need to me to come over and ill be here." I say as she leans in and kisses me.

"I will." I turn and open the door. I look one last time at Tori as I get in my car and drive away. I will always love Beck he is my best friend, but today I realized I am truly in love with Tori Vega.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

Jade comes and picks me up for school the next day. Like the day before, she had snuck out to stay the night with me and left early this morning to get ready for school. Even though it's just a short drive to school I really enjoy that I get to spend it with her. She holds my hand while we drive there and I love every second of it. As we pull in Jade kills the engine and looks at me. After making sure no one was really around she kisses.

"You look beautiful today." Jade says smiling sweetly at me.

"Well I'm going out after school with this gorgeous girl and I wanted to make sure I looked my best." I say smiling back at her. She kisses me again.

"I better be that gorgeous girl you are referring to Vega." Jade growls out and I smile at her. Jade kisses me real quick again.

"Come on lets go get through this day, then go on our amazing date." Jade says opening her door and getting out. She comes around to open my door for me.

The school day dragged on slower than ever before. I had two classes with Jade today, in those classes she sat next to me and we did the childish thing of passing notes back and forth. We had a make out session in the broom closet before lunch. It definitely helped me through the day better. I was at my locker grabbing the books I would need for homework later tonight.

"Hey, you almost ready?" Jade sneaks up scaring me a little.

"Yeah, so where are we going?" I ask.

"Guess you will have to wait and see." Jade says walking to the door when I finish at my locker. Damn, I can't help but stare at her ass, her dark wash skinny jeans make it look evening more sexy.

"You know if the date goes well I may let you take a picture of it. " Jade says with a smirk.

"I, uh." I look away embarrassed I was caught. Jade just laughs opening the door for me.

"It's okay Vega, if I could I would stare at my ass all day." She says with a wink, closing the door after I get in.

We drive for about 20 minutes listening to the radio singing along to the songs we know. Jade holds my hand the whole way there. We go to this little Café right by the beach. There are some tables outside of the restaurant. We go into the café they have glass displays with cannolis, eclairs, chocolate covered strawberries, muffines, cookies, and other pastries. I order a turkey bacon cheddar Panini, Jade orders some other sandwich I don't hear what she gets on it as I look at the display cases full of desserts. I turn back to Jade as she pays and is hand a paper bag.

"What's in there?" I ask trying to peak.

"No you will see after dinner." Jade smirks at me.

After our sandwiches come out Jade walks us over to her car real quick and takes out a blanket.

"Lets eat on the beach, does that sound alright?" Jade looks at me questioningly

" Yeah that sounds really nice actually." I say as Jade puts the blanket over her arm and grabs my free hand with her. She carries her sandwich and bag of mysteries in her hand. We get to a spot and she asks me to hold her stuff as she puts down the blanket. I have the bag in my hand I could peak inside of it but I decide if Jade didn't want me to see it yet I wouldn't peak.

We sit down and eat chatting lightly. I enjoy the nice breeze that comes in off the ocean, the way the waves crash into the sand, and I love how the breeze blows Jade's hair around her face. It looks like she would be on the front of a magazine, and she took me here on a date. She looks over at me finishing her food and just smiles. How did I get lucky enough to be on a date with this goddess?

"Thanks for coming out with me today Tori." Jade says she is getting nervous like she was when she first asked me on this date.

"Thanks for taking me out Jade." I smile shyly at her.

"So, um, I, Tori, I have been enjoying your company a lot these past few days, and I don't want to pressure you or anything, I know you have been through a lot, I just, I want to know if you'd like to be my girlfriend?" Jade says looking more scared then I have ever seen her. "I'm sorry if that's too fast for you. Shit I know I shouldn't add any stress to your life, I just…." I cut her off with a kiss.

"Nothing would make me happier Jade." She smiles and kisses me back. She opens her mouth and I slip my tongue into her mouth. She massages her tongue with mine. We finally break apart for some air and I just stare into her eyes. She cups my cheek with her hand rubbing her thumb over my lips. Jade leans forward and kisses me again. It was just a sweet short but love filled kissed.

"Here open it." Jade says handing me the bag. There are four chocolate strawberries, a chocolate chip cookie and a cannoli. "I know cannolis and chocolate covered strawberries are you favorite, and everyone loves chocolate chip cookies." I I pick out a chocolate covered strawberry and feed it to her. I never thought someone eating a strawberry could be so sexy. When she is done she picks out one and feeds it to me. I moan at how good it tastes as I bite down into it. I purposely try to be seductive while eating it. I can feel her eyes on me, I look over the lust in here eyes is noticeable.

"Um we should probably get you home. I told your dad I wouldn't have you home too late." Jade says standing up taking my hand. When I stand up she pulls me into a tight loving embrace. "Thanks for an amazing date." I whisper in her ear before kissing her cheek.

The radio plays in the car on the way back to my house. It's the only noise in the car really. We sit in silence for the drive back but it's a comfortable silence.

_Jades POV_

I pull up in front of Tori's house. Today was such an awesome day. I'm sad the date has to end but I promised her dad I would have her home early since she is still catching up in her classes.

"Come on I'll walk you to your door." I grab her hand walking up the steps. I don't think I have ever felt this way about anyone even Beck. She thawed my cold heart, I find I want to go out of my way and be sweet and romantic towards her she deserves it. She makes me into a sap and I love it, I love her.

"Thank you again for coming out with me today. I had a wonderful time." I say quietly kissing and hugging her.

"Thank you again for taking me out. And for asking me to be your girlfriend, you made me more happy than I have been in a while." I kiss her again. God I'm so in love with her.

"Tori," I say looking into her eyes, "I l…" I am interrupted by the door opening and Tori's mom standing there.

"Tori." She says. I see the shocked look on Tori's face.

"Are you alright?" I whisper in her ear. She turns to me

"Yeah, I'm f-fine." She says with a look that contradicts her.

"Jade, would you mind if I just had sometime with my daughter?" Mrs. Vega asks me.

"Call me later." I whisper in her ear before walking away.

** As always please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

_Jades pov_

It's been almost two hours since I dropped Tori off. I was worried about how her mom showing up would affect her but I needed to give her space. I decide to just send her a text.

'Hey I hope things are going well with your mom. I had an amazing time tonight. Text me when you can. XO- Jade' I don't add xo on texts ever but I really need her to know I care.

I sit in my bed just listening to music about a half hour after I sent a text I get a text from Trina. 'I think you should come over.' I just text her saying ill be there as soon as I can.

I get to the door and knock and Trina is standing there.

"She has been locked in her room the last half hour. She says she is fine but I know she isn't, I think you're the only one that can make her feel better. It got bad with my mom." Trina says upset.

I rush up to Tori's room knocking first, "Tor, it's Jade." I say no answer. I try the door and it's unlocked now. I walk in and she is staring out her window sitting on her bed. A glass bottle in her hand and I freeze knowing what it is.

"I-I, it was so bad Jade." She says hanging her head. I rush over and throw my arms around her.

"Tor I'm here. I'm here." I whisper in her ear rubbing my hand up and down her back as she sobs.

"I didn't drink, I really wanted to but I didn't, I couldn't disappoint you. " She cries into my shoulder.

"You won't disappoint me Tori. I understand you just had a rough night." I say holding back tears. I'm so relieved she didn't drink but sad she didn't call me.

"She was so awful Jade. I had such a nice night tonight and she ruined it. I came up here and found the bottle and just stared at it. " She cries harder into my shoulder.

"Babe, you can call me anytime you feel like you want to drink, I'll be there for you. Do you want to tell me what happened?" I ask and she nods.

Tori's POV

_Flashback_

I walk into the house behind my mom. We go and sit on the couch. Trina and my dad are on the other couch shocked.

"Baby, how could you do something like that?" She asks me, disappointment in her eyes.

"Mom I just Casey and me were having problems, I hadn't talked to you in over two months, you left us. You just fucking left us." I was shocked at the anger that came out of my mouth. How can she come look at me with disappointment when she is the disappointing one?

"I'm sorry baby." She says trying to grab my hand.

"Holly, I think maybe you should wait until a better time, Tori can't be understand stress." My dad says standing up coming over towards me.

"She tried to kill herself David and you think I should wait to have a talk with her?" She says annoyed. Standing up facing my dad.

"You waited over two months to, what's another few days." Trina says with anger dripping from her words.

"You left us mom! You have no idea what that did to us! Even when you still lived here I couldn't talk to you, you never made time for me or you were just not home. I couldn't even talk to you about my confusing feelings towards Jade. You didn't even say bye when you left." By this time I am standing up pacing anger coursing through my veins.

"You what? You have feelings for that girl? First a druggie now a lesbian?" She spits out like it's the most vile thing she has ever heard standing to look at me I stop pacing and just stare at her.

"Holly, get out now. You are not going to treat our daughter like this!"

"David aren't you the least bit concerned about our daughter being a dyke?" Holly says with revolt. I just stare at her in shock and she looks at me with disgust.

"I love her mom, and she's my girlfriend." My dad smiles at me a real true smile.

"No daughter of mine will be a dirty lesbian freak. What a disappointment you turned out to be." She says calmly with pure disgust. I shouldn't be shocked she was never really there for me. I shouldn't be surprised she would find me to be a disappointment.

"Get the fuck out of my house now!" My dad yells, I have never seen him so angry. I run upstairs unable to look at my mom and her disappointing look anymore.

"No mother of mine is going to disown my sister for who she falls in love with. I guess you are losing two daughter today." I hear Trina scream at her. I smile to myself for a second for my dad and sister accepting me and defending me. I go into my closet and find a bottle of vodka. I quickly hide it under the bed when there's a knock on my door. It's Trina and my dad.

"She left honey, I am so sorry I didn't think it would get like that when she came over." My dad says sitting next to me putting his arm around my shoulder. He has that guilty look in his eyes again.

"I'm sorry." I say tearing up.

"Don't be sorry she had no right." He says.

"I'd like to just be alone for a little while please?" I say to them he kisses my forehead and walks out and Trina comes and hugs me.

"I love you Tor, mom's being stupid." I hug her back tight. As soon as they leave I grab the bottle. I know I could call Jade, but we had a good night and she finally looked happy, I don't want to ruin her happiness.

_End flashback._

" I'm sorry I should have just called you but you were so happy after our date I didn't want to ruin it. I'm sitting back looking at Jade, she has tears streaming down her face.

Jade looks at me, wiping away my tears as I try to calm down.

"Your mom is the biggest dumbass in the world if she thinks you are a disappointment in anyway. You are one of the most talented, beautiful, gorgeous selfless girls I have ever met. Any mother would be blessed to as their daughter. I feel pretty special to have you as my girlfriend. I'm so proud that after all that stress and even having the alcohol in your hand and you didn't drink. You will never disappoint me ever. Tori, you can call me anytime you need to, I told you I would here for through this. It's not easy to kick an addiction, especially when put in a stressful situation." Jade looks in my eyes holding my hands. " Tori, I love you. I don't think I have ever loved anyone this much. You're amazing and I hate your mom for bringing you down tonight, but I'm here now and always will be to pick you back up when someone knocks you down." Jade still has tears streaming down her face. All the sad feelings disappeared when Jade said those three words. The burn for drugs and alcohol burning deep in me was gone. My body warmed inside and out. She loved me.

"I love you too." I say kissing her pulling her down on top of me on my bed.

**Please review! I'll be putting out a new chapter for Promises hopefully!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

**Its been a few days since i updated this story I am very sorry i was having a bit of writers block figuring out where I wanted this story to head. I hope you enjoy this chapter it has smut so if you don't like that you may not want to read this chapter. **

It has been a month since the fight with my mom and since Jade told me she loved me. I have been clean with the help of Jade. I love her so much and I am so happy she is with me. We are currently just watching some stupid TV show in my room. I am lying with my head on Jade's chest her one arm is around my shoulder rubbing random patterns on my upper arm while her hand draws random patterns on my stomach. I have both arms on Jades stomach drawing random patterns with my hand.

The show we are watching is really stupid and I can barely pay attention to it. I would rather be doing much more fun things with Jade. This is the first time we the house has really been just us since I got out of the hospital. Trina or my dad has always been here. Jade's house one of her parents is always home, usually working, but we don't try to do anything even if they aren't really paying attention.

I look up at Jade, she is just looking at the TV, I wonder if she likes this show or what she is thinking about. I just stare her beautiful face. God how did I end up with her? She smirks and then turns her head a little to look at me.

"Like what you see Vega?"

"Yes, actually I do your gorgeous Jade." I say smiling as she blushes a tiny bit. I found that when she isn't expecting a genuine compliment she blushes just a little. I lean up so I can kiss her. What starts as a slow soft kiss turns into a deep passionate one. I feel her tongue enter my mouth as I start a battle with my own. Not long after the kiss started I move so I am on top of her straddling her. I feel her breathe hitch against my lips a little when I first climb up. We haven't gone farther than making out and a little groping above the clothes yet.

I run my hand just underneath the hem of shirt above right on her hip. I feel her breath hitch again as she tangles her hand in my hair and pulls me closer. Her tongue is moving all around in my mouth and now massaging underneath my tongue. I can feel the throbbing starting in between my legs. Since I have first met Jade I have dreamed of what it would be like to be with her this way. She moves her hand underneath my shirt and runs it slowly up my back, and then she lightly scrapes back down with my back. Jade suddenly flips us over so that she is on top straddling me. She ends up with her leg in between mine and brushes it against my center. I moan and buck my hips up against her leg.

"Vega, before this goes too far and I can't stop are you sure?" Jade asks with a shaky voice. Her eyes are turning dark full of lust.

"Jade, I was ready the day I met you." I think but I actually say. I really didn't mean to say that out loud. I feel my face heat up at her amused smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Mmmm Vega, so have you been having dirty thoughts about me." She whispers huskily in my ear. She gently nibbles my ear and I gasp.

"Yes." I turn so I can suck on her neck and hear a small moan come out of her throat. Jade pushes her knee into my center and I moan out again.

"Me too. " Jade says before sticking her tongue back in my mouth. God can she kiss. I move my hands so they are on her hips below her shirt. I push her shirt up breaking the kiss to get it over her head. I sit up a little so Jade can get mine off as well. Jade's eyes rake over my upper half stopping on my bra-covered breasts. Her breath is shaky and I can feel myself getting more and more wet. She finally looks back into my eyes before she leans down and kisses me. Jade's hand travels up my stomach to my boob slowly massaging it. I start slowly grinding myself into jade's leg and moving mine so it touches her center. She moans into my mouth and it just makes me more aroused. Her hand goes from massaging my boob making it's way back down to my pants. She unbuttons my pants and lets her finger slip in a little under my panties.

"Mmmm fuck." I say when she stops. I reach behind Jade and unclasp her bra. She lets her fingers slide further into my panties just above my clit. It feels so fucking good. She moves her hand out of my hand briefly to take her bra off and I just stare in awe at her beautiful breasts. I pull her down towards me bringing a nipple into my mouth and hear her moan out. She undoes my bra and pulls it off. She massages one boob before moving her hand back to my pants. I feel her remove my jeans and panties. I do the same to her keeping my mouth attached to her nipple.

"Fuck yeah Tori that feels so fucking good." She moans out. I feel her hand slowly slide up the inside of my thigh. "Mmmm so wet for me." She says huskily before entering me with two fingers. I break away from her nipple and moan out it feels so good.

"God Jade." I moan out. She is moving her fingers in and our faster and fast grinding her body into me, I feel like I am going to explode. I drag my fingernails down her back while she grinds into me, fingers curling to hit my g-spot.

"Oh fuck." I cry out as I feel myself climax. Jade slows her tempo letting me ride out my orgasm. "Wow."

"Yeah I know right. Doing you was better than what I actually thought in my head." She removes her fingers and puts them in her mouth cleaning them off. "Mmmmm your delicious babe." She says huskily and I get well all over again. Jade is still on top of me looking down at me. I tilt my head up to kiss her my tongue immediately invading her mouth, dominating hers. I flip us so I am on top of her still fighting her tongue with my own. I hear Jade moan as my hand massages her boob. I break from the kiss and kiss, lick and nip down her jaw, and neck and make my way to her full breasts. I lick and start sucking her nipple nipping it lightly earning another moan from Jade. While my mouth works her nipple my hand travels down to her wet center. I hear her suck in a deep breath when I lightly run my finger over her clit.

"Ooooh Jade so wet, just for me." I say huskily into her breast. She moans even more as I lightly run my finger over her entrance and back up to her clit.

"Fuckkkk Torrriiii." She gasps. I keep teasing her for a few more seconds. "God Tori." Jade starts moaning. I kiss my way down her stomach and make my way to her clit. I run my tongue from her entrance up her clit. She jerks her hips up letting out a deep moan. I become even more wet from her taste and how wet she is.

"Do you like that Jade?" I ask running my tongue through her slit again.

"uhhhhh mmmmmm." Jade moans out. I hear an even louder moan when my tongue enters her. I work my tongue in and out of her as Jade tangles her hands in my hair pushing me more into her moaning, her other hand gripping the sheets as she moans. I look up at her, her eyes shut tightly. I rub my fingers over her clit, her back arches up at the new feeling. "Fuckkkk Toriiii." I can feel her get close. I keep fucking her with my tongue and rubbing her clit, her walls get tight around my tongue and soon after that she moan screams. "Toriiiii!." My mouth fills with her nectar and I drink it greedily. A new taste I am addicted too. I have only dreamed of ever doing this to her.

I kiss my way back up to her and immediately force my tongue in her mouth, I want her to taster herself on me. She moans into the kiss and I feel another rush of wetness to my center.

"Damn I taste good." She moans breaking the kiss.

"Yeah you do. " I look at her dreamily and she returns the same look. "I love you so much." I say giving her a quick kiss full of love.

"I love you too. Even more so now. Damn you have a talented mouth." Jade says looking at me.

"Yeah it is pretty talented." I say jokingly with a wink. I kiss her again and cuddle into her side. She wraps both arms around me and pulls me tighter to her.

"This is defiantly going on my top 5 happiest moments in my life." I say laying my head on her chest staying on top off her.

"Oh yah top 5? What else is on there." She says raising her eyebrows look down at me I turn my head so my chin is on her chest when I answer.

"Well number 5 is the first day I ever got to hug you." I blush a little and Jade just squeezes me with a big smile on her face. " Number 4 is when you showed me how much you cared about me by sitting through the notebook and not gagging or insulting the movie, number 3 is when you asked me to be your girlfriend, number 2 was well the awesome sex we just had." I pause and blush at my own words I look into Jade's eyes and see them sparkle I lean in and kiss her.

"That was only 4 Tor, what's number 1?" Jade questions looking curious.

"The day you told me you loved me." Jade looks at me I see tears form in her eyes.

"Tori I love you so much, so much that I don't mind being a sappy romantic." Jade pulls me in for a kiss. This kiss prompts another round of amazing sex.

After we finish I head downstairs to get us some soda. I just throw on my robe promising Jade I would hurry back up to her. As I pull the bottle of soda out and two glasses I hear a voice I wish I never would hear again.

"Have you missed me baby?" Casey asks as I drop the glass shattering all over the floor.


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me.**

**Sorry this chapter took so long i had some writer's block. I hope you enjoy this one! please review!**

I drop one of the glasses at the sound of Casey's voice. I am frozen in place too afraid to turn around. I am praying the glass shattering makes Jade come down to see what happened.

"Turn around babe." He says with venom. I slowly turn around and face him.

"Hey Tori everything okay down there!" Jade yells down to me. Casey lifts his shirt to reveal the handle of a pistol in the waistband of his sweats he is wearing. Casey's looks like shit, his eyes have deep purple under them, it looks as if he hasn't slept in days. His eyes are bloodshot, his hair, which is now longer, then the last time I saw him is a mess, he is wearing a stained white shirt that has holes all through it. I can tell Casey is on drugs. I panic at the site of the gun knowing I cannot drag Jade into this.

"Yeah I'm just clumsy you know me! I'll be up in a second." I yell up to Jade trying to cover the fright I feel running through my veins. "Why are you here Casey?" I ask looking him in his disgusting face.

"I miss you babe, don't you miss me? I thought we had something special!" He snarls the last part at me.

"Yeah it was real special how you tried to rape me at that party after hitting me."

"You deserved it bitch. Cheating on me with that slut form your school." He snarls at me hand on handle of the gun. I start panicking. I think back to all my training in acting.

"Your right I did deserve it. I am so sorry Casey. Please forgive me." I say to him still keeping my distance.

"Why is she here then Tori?" Casey asks not as angry as a few minutes ago.

"I was so lonely without you, I missed you Casey. Jade means nothing to me. I will tell her to leave right now. Just please let her leave don't hurt her, can you do that for me?" I plead with Casey.

"Anything for you babe." He walks over and kisses me. I can taste the alcohol on his breath. I pull away it takes everything in me not to gag at the kiss. I hear Jade coming down the stairs.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Jade yells at me. I look at her. Anger is in her eyes but there is slight hurt there. And I'm going to hurt her more.

"Uh Jade. I need to tell you something. I'm sorry but after um after tonight I realized I am still love Casey and wanted to give us another try." I look down because I can't look in her eyes while I break her heart. I have to hold back my tears Casey can't see me cry or the whole thing will be ruined. "This isn't working  
Jade."

"You're breaking up with me to get back with him? Wow Vega you two completely deserve each other. Fuck you Vega. I knew I should have just went to back Beck, he was better in bed anyways. I hope I never see you again." Jade storms out of the front door but not before I see the tears streaming down her face. 'I'm doing this to protect you Jade, I hope you know I love you.' I think in my head, as the door slams shut.

"Well isn't she pleasant. Well now that she is out of our lives we can go back to being happy together." Casey hugs me and kisses me again. We go into the living room and turn on the tv. I just have some glimmer of hope of him just passing out soon so I can get out and away from him. I just stare blankly at the tv trying not to run straight out of the house and away from him.

"Tori babe, do you think I am stupid?" Casey asks bringing me out of my thoughts. I look at him and he looks like he is worried.

"Of course not why would you think I would?" I just stare at him.

"No reason." I turn back to the tv and then all of a sudden I feel something strike my head.

Surprisingly I don't get knocked out I just slam into the ground. I'm stunned and my head is throbbing now. I see blood forming on the carpet.

"You obviously think I am a fucking, that I believed you fucking act." Casey snarls getting down close to my face. I close my eyes. I'm sure he is going to kill me now. "It's too bad Jade is gone now, no one to come and save you this time." I know Casey is about to swing again but there is a creak upstairs. "Who the fuck else is here?" He screams at me. I am even more stunned now then I was. No one else was here besides Jade.

Casey gets up gun in hand slowly walking up the stairs to check out what the noise was. I take this as my chance to get up and dizzily walk into the kitchen to grab a knife. I'm not going down without a fight. I hear Casey creaking around walking upstairs. All of a sudden I hear a gun shot ring through the house. My heart stops. I ignore how dizzy and faint I feel and make my way upstairs. I'm not thinking at this point because a knife against a gun is a losing fight but I fear for who was just shot. I make it to the top of the stairs and don't see him anywhere I hold my knife behind my back so he won't see if he comes out of a room at me. I keep walking blood dripping down the side of my head. I go down the hallway where my parent's room, well now dad's room is. Their door is open and looks like no one is in there. There is another door in this hallway to the bathroom that is attached to my dad's room. I am thinking about where he could be when the bathroom door opens and Casey walks out of it looking at me. There is a blood dripping from Casey's head I notice right away. I freeze in place just staring at him. He raises the gun about to pull the trigger when he suddenly goes down screaming in pain. The gun falls out of his hand and is suddenly by the person who stabbed Casey.

"Jade." I say as I start coming out of my shock. I suddenly get dizzy and almost faint. Jade grabs me before I fall.

"Come on we have to run." She pulls me grabbing the scissors from Casey's back and the gun. I can hear Casey start struggling to get up and we race down the stairs I feel like I'm going to pass out. I fear he is going to catch up to us, we make it downstairs and my dad and two other officers charge through the door, suddenly everything is black.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated trademarks are property of someone else and not me. I also do not own any rights to the song Endless Love by Lionel Richie**

**I'm sorry this took so long to upload guys! I hope you enjoy this chapter Unfortunately it is the last one.**

I wake up to beeping. 'Great back in the hospital' I think to myself. Like the last time I woke up in the hospital Jade is sitting in a chair next to my bed. She is holding my hand she looks like she dozed off in the chair. I wonder how long I have been out. I can't believe Jade came back to save me after how I talked to her. I feel tears start flowing and I close my eyes to try and stop.

"Why are you crying, are you in pain?" Jade asks squeezing my hand. Concern is written all over her face.

"Jade. I can't believe you risked your life to come back into the house to save me." I say squeezing her hand. She lets go of my hand momentarily and stretches and leans forward and kisses me.

"Tori, I love you, and I told you if I saw Casey again I would hurt him. Don't be mad but Tori I saw right through your act saying you didn't love me and wanted to be with Casey. It is a good thing because it probably saved your life but you were terrible." Jade smirks and I am so glad she saw it as an act. " Tori you couldn't look me in the eyes which are what gave you away. I played along because I figured Casey would be less dangerous if I played along and snuck back in to attack. I was right, he had a gun huh?" Jade says smirking again. "I can now officially tell people I was shot well sort of. Casey is a lousy shot especially when he is drunk and high. " Jade chuckles a little but sobers when she sees the concern over my face.

"Jade you could have died because of me, it's not funny." I say tears coming down my face.

"I'm sorry babe I tend to laugh at inappropriate times, and I'm fine."

"Where did you get shot?" I ask

"The bullet graced my left hip. Then I threw one pair of scissors at him to make a quick get away. I heard you come up the stairs so I booked it through your room to Trina's and into her closet.

_Flashback:_

_Jade and I got bored of watching stupid TV shows and we could not agree on a movie. I decided since Trina was not home I would show Jade the coolest part of our house. In Trina's closet there's this little door that leads into my dad's closet. I don't know if my dad or mom ever found out about the door but it was there when we got the house. Trina showed me a few weeks when we first moved in because she thought it was the coolest thing ever. I decided I wanted to show Jade since we couldn't agree on anything. _

_ "Wow, Vega, that is so cool! "Jade said sarcastically._

_ "Oh come on Jade! You know it is pretty friggen sweet it's like a secret passage way!" I said excitedly showing her the door. Jade just rolled her eyes at me not thinking this was cool at all. I just pouted as I crawled and sat in my dad's closet. _

_ "Ugh fine Vega, this is pretty cool." Jade says smiling pulling me to her and kissing me. We crawled back through the door to Trina's room before my dad found us in his closet. _

_ "Vega, have I told you how much I love you?" Jade says as we exit Trina's room to go back to mine._

_ "You have many times but I love hearing it." I said and Jade rolls her eyes kissing me again._

_End flashback._

"I have never been happier about that little secret door. I'm mad at myself for not hearing him get to your room until it was almost too late. I'm sorry I mocked you for thinking that trap door was so cool. I decided I really love it." Jade laughed and I actually laughed with her.

"Thanks for saving my life Jade." I whisper shyly.

"Tor don't you remember last time you were in the hospital I told you I didn't know how I would live without you. Plus I owed that fucker for what he did to you before." Jade leans up and kisses me again.

"Tori I want you to know before I stormed out of your house I was just acting the part I really didn't mean anything I said. I love you with all my heart." Jade says getting a little teary eyed.

"I know Jade I was worried about if Casey killed me that you knew I truly loved you." I said teary eyed as well. Jade moves so she can kiss me very passionately.

"I know you do Vega." Jade whispers, kissing me again. "I should go get the doctor let him know you are up." Jade kisses me quick and exits the room.

Jade enters back into the room with the doctor. He tells me he would like me to just stay over night to just monitor my concussion. He says I was very fortunate after getting pistol whipped by Casey. I was only out for about an hour. They wanted to run some more tests on me and just watch to make sure I wasn't bleeding internally. Jade with the help of my dad convinced the doctor to let her stay the night with me. After the doctor left I moved over and told Jade to lay in bed with me. She climbs in careful of her wound and wraps her arms around me.

_3 years later._

After staying in the hospital I left the next day. I didn't have an internal bleeding and I had only a minor concussion. I mostly had a gash that bled a lot by the way Casey hit me. Casey plead guilty in his trial and was sentenced 15 years to life prison, he can go up for parole after 15 years. I felt relived but was afraid for when him possibly getting out in 15 years. Jade said he wouldn't be dumb enough to try and find them and if he did she would protect me. I talked to my mom only one other time other than that day she came over after I got out of the hospital. She was still disgusted and disappointed I was dating a girl. I told her I was in love with her and hoped to spend the rest of my life with her. My mom hung up on me and I haven't spoken to her since.

Jade and I stayed together after the whole attack we became even closer which I didn't know was possible. We enjoyed our time at Hollywood Arts and after we graduated got an apartment together. I knew I wouldn't want to be with anyone else ever. We attended the same performing arts college; it was about an hour away from Hollywood Arts. Beck and Cat also attended the same school. Robbie ended up moving and going all the way to MIT with a full ride and Andre had a full ride to Julliard. I was sad they would both be so far away but so proud for them. Amy went to a college by where she lived which was only about 40 minutes from my school. She would visit sometimes and vice versa. Jade and her actually became friends even though Jade initially hated her. Amy got clean soon after I first did and stayed clean. I was proud of her because I know how hard it was to go through all that. Life has been pretty good since the whole Casey thing happened. I was in love and with the girl of my dreams and she loved me just as much.

I was getting ready in the bathroom while Jade did I didn't even know what. We had just finished showering, we made sure to have enough time in the shower since washing ourselves wasn't the only thing we did.

"Are you almost ready babe?" Jade came in with a smile on her face. Her hair was still black with a green strip on one side and purple strip on the other. She put the purple strip in for me. She still wore her almost all black attire almost all the time. Tonight she had a black strapless shirt on with black leggings and traded in her combat boots for black flats with skulls on them. She walked up to me and put her arms around my waist and kissed my neck.

"Yeah I am. You look gorgeous baby." I said turning my head to kiss her.

"Well you look beautiful like always." Jade smiled. I just loved this woman. I wore a purple shirt that hung off one shoulder. I had my skinny dark wash jeans on with my low heel puple shoes.

"Alright I am done let's go! They are meeting us there in at 6, we are going to be late." I grab Jade's hand and we make our way through the apartment out to my car. We are meeting the gang at Karaoke Dokie tonight; we always ended up going every year. It was our place. We got there 10 minutes later. Everyone was home from school from Christmas break. I hadn't seen Andre or Robbie since they left in summer for school. They didn't end up making it home for Thanksgiving this year.

We walk in and everyone else is already there. I make my rounds giving Amy, Cat, Beck, Andre and even Robbie a hug. Jade does the same yes she even hugged Amy. We sat around at a table and Andre and Beck get Jade and I some drinks. Jade sits next to me and puts her arm around my waist. Some random kid sings a few songs. I decide what song I want to sing to night. I want to sing something really special for Jade our 3-year anniversary was a couple days ago. Jade got me a beautiful white gold necklace with a heart locket on it. In the locket was the first picture Jade and I ever took together as a couple. It was the sweetest thing. I cried a little. I got Jade a gold necklace with a little pair of scissors on it with a matching scissor ring. I also got took her to go see the Scissoring Part 2 even though I hated the first one I put up with it and didn't complain about scary it was. Jade did hold me the entire time and even took her eyes off the screen to kiss me. Jade didn't expect me to take her to see this it was a premiere too so she got a free poster. Let's just say the sex that night was over the top amazing.

"Hey what's on your mind? " Jade says smiling.

"I was just thinking about us and how happy I am with you." I smile and she kisses me. And suddenly gets up.

"My song." She says disappearing behind the stage.

"Alright this next singer is dedicating this song to her very special girlfriend Tori Vega!" The announcer said and everyone cheered. I was so happy I felt my eyes tear a little bit.

"This one is for you babe, Happy Anniversary." Jade said when she got on stage.

_My love,  
There's only you in my life  
The only thing that's bright_

My first love,  
You're every breath that I take  
You're every step I make

And I  
(I-I-I-I-I)  
I want to share  
All my love with you  
No one else will do...

And your eyes  
Your eyes, your eyes  
They tell me how much you care  
Ooh yes, you will always be  
My endless love

Two hearts,  
Two hearts that beat as one  
Our lives have just begun

Forever  
(ohhhhhh)  
I'll hold you close in my arms  
I can't resist your charms

And love  
Oh, love  
I'll be a fool  
For you,  
I'm sure  
You know I don't mind  
Oh, you know I don't mind

'cause you,  
You mean the world to me  
Oh  
I know  
I know  
I've found in you  
My endless love

I watch as Jade sings this beautiful song to me. The tears in my eyes spill over. As Jade finished the song I see unshed tears in her eyes. Jade walks off stage and walks towards me. She looks me right in the eye.

"Tori Vega. I fell in love with you 3 years ago. I have loved you more and more everyday since. You have made me a better person and you thawed out my cold heart. I know I will never love someone as much as I love you and I will never want to be with anyone else but you. I know I make fun of the chick flicks we watch but I have a new appreciation for the love they have because they have a happy ending. Victoria Vega will you give me my happy ending and make the happiest girl in the world and marry me? " Jade kneeled down in front of me revealing a white gold band with a beautiful diamond in the center. There was a Safire on either side of the diamond. It is so beautiful but she could have proposed to me with a ring pop and I would have been happy.

"Yes, Yes! Of course I will marry you Jadelyn West! " She stands up putting the ring on my finger and pulls me in for a passionate kiss that I return, and I don't care who is watching. I'm so lost in this kiss I don't even hear the crowd cheering for us.

After we get congratulation hugs from everyone Jade and I head home. As I get home Trina opens the door seeing the smile on my face she gives me a huge hug saying congratulations. My dad must have heard Trina and comes over teary eyes hugging me while Trina hugs Jade. I'm guessing Jade discussed this with my dad. I look over at Jade after hugging my dad and see so much happiness in her face. I grab for her hand and squeeze it. She turns her attention to me and squeezes back.

"I love you Victoria." She whispers in my ear kisses my cheek.

"I love you Jadelyn." I whisper back before she pecks me on my lips.

**I hope everyone enjoyed! I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story! I'll be finishing up Promises and i may write a 2 shot story. Thank you everyone!**


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